Saturday 31 July 2010

Doped

Euuh…Hello

uhm. erm. uh. Morning. People of the world. You know what happens if you’re doped to sleep and drink coffee? That’s like what happens when you have a frying pan that’s smouldering hot then jam it under a tap of cold water. As a good friend puts it, it goes “Tshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.

Euuh, you know what I do when I want coffee? I make tea. :)

And and, molten gebna roumy. That helps with the coffee fix.

Wow. This feels awesome man. I mean, wow. This dope is some screepy shit. I wanted to say scary but then I started to say creepy. Whoa. I can’t make a fist anymore. haha. Not funny. ha-ha. I’m laughing though. No I’m not. Yes I am.

Did I tell you how much I like grilled carrots? Well I do.

And I bet if they were real they’d love me right back.

But carrots are real, in some sense of the word.  You could touch and see them and all. So carrots do love me back.

How do you think carrots feel when they love you so much and you actually grind them to death and feed off of them just so you’d save calories on that bag of chips?

Well, carrots, I do love you back. I even grill so you’d go soft and the grinding wouldn’t hurt that much anymore. See? I care about your feelings…And my teeth.

Carrots vs. Coffee.

They both begin with C !!!

You know what I do after I make tea? I wait for it to go cold then I don’t drink it. Because I don’t like tea. I just give my hands the illusion of preparing a hot liquid to get over the coffee fix. You see, getting over the coffee fix is more in your hands than your oesophagus.

I miss coffee.

And you know what? I bet coffee misses me right back.

I didn’t even say if it were real because it is real and if you say that coffee is not real I will grill you and grind you without even the courtesy of calling you a carrot.

My hand says hi! It’s upset because no one wants to talk to it. Talk to the hand goddamnit! Jeez the size of the ego on ya.

the-hand

Carrots wouldn’t like you. Carrots are altruistic, they’d love you even when they’re in the grinders. Ooh the carrots. Can’t live with them, can’t live without em, can’t eat them in the presence of bugs bunny.

Oh for the love of coffee people. You gotta love carrots.

Oh for the love of carrots people. You gotta want coffee.

Oh for the love of coffee people. You gotta ban allergy pills.

Oh for the…nah, no one loves allergy pills. They’re the best dope after marijuana though. And carrots. And coffee.

No.

Coffee takes first place.

Then Carrots.

Then 7asheesh.

Then allergy pills.

Nonononononononono. NO. Coffee. Carrots. Apocalypse.

bahh. grah. feshfesh. kaboo

Thursday 29 July 2010

Head Popcorn

There’s a reason why ditch and bitch rhyme you know. It’s not just a coincidence…

“What would you care if you lost the other? I always wonder why did we bother? Distanced from one, blind to the other…” – Sweetness Follows by R.E.M

Milkshakes = Ice Cream + Milk

I found out that I like bald guys or guys with long hair. Does that mean that I’m prejudiced against half-inchers? Now that’s a thinker.

“It’s these little things, they can pull you under. Live your life filled with joy and wonder. I always knew this altogether thunder was lost in our little lives…” – Sweetness Follows by R.E.M

Toz.

Debussy = Delirium + Rocket science

“oh, oh, but sweetness follows”. Nu-uh, no it doesn’t! Because karma’s a bitch.

Bas keda.

Monday 26 July 2010

Triplet Polyrhythm

I think I bit off more than I can chew this time. Beware people, this is an OCP blog post, so all of you who wouldn’t tolerate national geographic for more than a couple of minutes on end, this blog post is NOT for you. Ok, usually when you play an instrument, you hear a piece and you know exactly whether it’s within your ability or not, and you know exactly which parts in that piece are gonna take up the most time as you practise, sometimes even knowing exactly how long it’s gonna take. With Debussy, just to put into perspective, professionals dare not play any of his compositions without a year of pre-practice, just to get the feel of it and not make complete and utter shmucks of themselves on national television or whatever. Now, It’s still duable for all of us average Joes out there. What one man can do another can do. SO, with passive provocation from a fellow piano player, who’s younger and certainly a virtuoso, I’m nuts enough to start off on Debussy’s 1st arabesque. Besides the idiosyncratic elaborate progressions, the chromaticism, the inhumane tempo, the unpredictability in the improvisational flow of that composition, that defies patterns and tedium, that  actually led the probing of classical musical into new age, but that’s not the point…Point is, after all of that, it is actually the triplet polyrythms that are a pain in the ass. To all of you non instrumentalists, I’ll try to bring a little light on it. Music Theory is simple. Music consists of beats. Sometimes 4 notes take two beats, meaning that 2 take one beat, so each has half. Now there’s that little thing called triplet, where 3 notes take one beat. So, try to synchronise it in your head so that the 2 different beats coincide into, bringing the triplets together with the 8th notes aforementioned. What happens is that they don’t go together, imagine putting your fingers together, just so that the fingers of one hand fit into the spaces of the other, but with the first two fingers meeting. Now accelerate that into high speed, cancel thought and give it a moment’s notice, now double that and triple it, that’s how hard it is. No probably it’s even harder.

Image 1

Moving on, just because I can hear your brain cells screaming out to me in anguish to stop. And no I’m not a snob. Green bug feel, suck it up for a bit. I’ve been practising the first two lines for 3 days, just the finger exercises, because it starts of in two progressions then the actual intro, that’s when I got to the triplet polyrythms part. Aside from the fact that the right hand alone, or more professionally speaking the treble clef partition, required a lot of syncopation not to mention all the fingering and getting used to it, because practising is all about getting the piece to sink in beyond your conscious level of control so that your hands know what you’re doing without you having to think beforehand, because there won’t be time to think as you play a piece with that tempo, your motor control handles that for you. If you’ve watched Wilhelm Kempff play and you’ve seen how he seems to stare into space then your jaw drops with the cam as it shows that the two hands playing are actually protruding from his detached face. And by detached I mean has nothing to do with the rest of his body, because you can’t pack any more feeling into those wrinkles than this.

It explains the perverted “Your-hands-know-what-they’re-doing” part. So besides that, the fingering is just horrible. And no, not THAT kind of fingering. I know this blog post is a mine for all of you with a “That’s what she said” passion. Cut me some slack guys. Fingering as in knowing which finger plays what so that the other one gets to reach there. On top of all of that, I’m driving my teacher nuts. Last time, his “I-didn't-sign-up-for-this” vibe was pretty potent, even more potent after I named Chopin's nocturne opus (Op.) 9/2 by ear that he was showing me to brag, my identification of it cancelled the boasting effect. lol. Well, he’s stupid, he had to pick Chopin’s most famous nocturne and my favourite of his besides the posthumous ones to brag? Pfft. I was really embarrassed though, he was uncomfortable that I chose to work beyond the limits of the curriculum, especially at the part that he stumbled on as he showed me, so the criticism wasn’t exactly nice. His “danty fay2a” was a bit too grudgingly given off than I thought was polite. That’s when I decided I’m gonna make him fret even more by practising right then and there. God I love driving people nuts. :)

Triplet Polyrythms kind of remind me of something a friend dared me to do a couple of weeks ago. He said hop on one leg while rubbing your tummy and tapping your head. lol. Needless to say, no one can quite copy a chimp unless they are genetically predisposed to regression into the ape they once were. So, All I have to do is reach in for that little musical ape within me, get down with it and wish for the best. And don’t go TWSS on me.

If you give a shit, there’s the link.

Saturday 24 July 2010

I am Flawed

Image 1  I’m flawed and blemished. I cuss more than I say I miss you, and when I really need to say it I wait till someone else does and say me too. I only hug people who are really close to me, and since those are few I might end up with a couple of hugs a year. I am a coffee addict and a clingy asshole. Cold and a snob. I regularly buy Boy T-shirts. I don’t hang around in one place for more than a day or with one person for more than a couple of hours, I call it independent, people call me arrogant. I keep an open-mind, and my closest people break every boundaries you can call within the norm. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, and hence I’m shunned and called names. I’m blunt and wouldn’t lie to you to make you feel better. And to tell you the truth, I don’t want to be anything else.

Perfect is ugly. Be a chocolate chip cookie.

Friday 23 July 2010

Flipping the bird

I don’t feel like updating my blog with some bloggywoggy karma-hostile bullshit-intolerant post that goes to prove a point, more like typing my fingers short, because the last 48 hours have been, as always, quite odd, but let me start off with a certain announcement to all of those whose lives afford the time to probe into others’ : If I feel like using the word fuck, shit, dick, bitch, or asshole, by all means I will. If you don’t like it, you can always move that little concerned finger of yours get to the (X) button on top just where it belongs. However, taking my friend’s advice, I will however put a Parental Advisory Badge on top for all of you with a sensitive ear. I do appreciate your concern, however misplaced it is.

Now, starting off with my odd 48 hours. Went for a jog, I overworked my leg and my jogging buddy can’t move her knees, so we were tagging along as the hunks fly past us and the old men slowly yet surely beat us to the end of the curb. Charming eh? She walked me back home, we shopped for neckband headphones and I trudged back up, too lazy to even think of taking a shower, let alone changing. Somehow a couple of hours fly past, during which I’m used as a guinea pig as a friend tries skyping with me from their phone and suddenly dad feels like taking a walk. I tag along, even though I find out that I can’t walk without a limp. A 17-year-old with a limp, not a charmer. On our way down I met my friend who’d immigrated, unpacking on the curb. I said I’ll catch up with her in a couple of hours, and since she hadn’t seen her dad in two years it was a win-win. My cutting her some slack and her catching up on good old quality time with her dad. Sometimes the best thing you can do for the people you love is to bug off. True Story.

My dad kept walking ahead, then slowing down, then walking ahead as I fall behind, then slowing down, falling in and out of pace yet never out of train of thought. I found out about a new bookstore called “Alef”, a bit past Diwan bookstore not 20 minutes away from home, so that’s awesome. Now I have two bookstores in reach that I know how to get to without begging for rides and appointment rain checks. It’s this little store, with the entrance hidden from view with a slight hedge, entrance made out of cobblestone steps in the grass with the most annoying gate ever. Getting in, it’s apparently new and didn’t look like it was in business for long. The book collection per author was quite limited, and the titles were slightly out of date and the way they placed the books on the shelves made it impossible for you to ease one out to read the plot with the entire line of books falling to one side. That didn’t look like someone who knew their way around the block. Getting past the cons, the prices were awesome, almost 40% less than virgin megastores, levelled with Diwan a bit. Anyhow, I subscribed to the bookstore for the membership discounts, grabbed a couple of brochures and stroke up a convo with the salesman and walked out with a book that a friend had recommended, “The Book Thief – Markus Zusak”, there was this other book I wanted to get but didn’t have enough cash on me, called “The book of other people”. Apparently plotless with nothing but autobiographies of imaginary characters.

the-book-thief the_book_of_other_people.large

For someone who found her cell phone in the trashcan a couple of days ago and who usually goes out Bag-less, phone-less, tissue-less and sometimes even money-less for 6 hours on end alone, it’s one of em times I wished I’d packed in an extra banknote. Yes, I’m stupid that way. With dad as a guru and sweetheart, and my hip slightly lubricated, I mind mapped the way and we got back. I had bought a book for my friend as a return gift, of her favourite author, knocked, hours fled past, blablabla, her dad was jetlagged so we hung around at my place catching up on everything that happened, could have happened and should have happened that year, hence talking the top of our heads off till 4 in the morning then we both passed out, fast asleep. I hadn’t slept in a couple of days and she was jetlagged, so we were quite sure, even though I drowsily set an alarm, that we wouldn't wake up. I woke up at 11, she wasn’t there, I’d missed the morning jog without cancelling on the poor dudette. A couple of hours later, spending it online with another friend, fumbling at the door and they’re packing to leave. I go out, say my goodbyes only to come back and find, cutely enough, that my friend fell asleep on the keyboard.

I re-read this and I’m aware that there is no punch-line. Well, I did tell you I wasn’t feeling bloggywoggy.

Oh and just for the sake of it, have yourself a “Fucking” good day. :)

Wednesday 21 July 2010

Badass vs. Smartass

My day. Hm, let’s see. I set the alarm on my cell phone to wake me up at 5 am, for no other reason than the fact that I like odd numbers. I hung around, patched up something to eat that I don’t remember, got through my coffee-craving, a close buddy came online and we chatted till like 8:30, then I had to rush off to meet my jogging buddy on time, I was late anyhow because mom had hogged the bathroom at a moment’s notice. I had overworked myself the day before, so my ankles were absolutely strained, I couldn’t even walk let alone jog. Anyhow I was out of the house at 9, notwithstanding the fact that I was supposed to be there at 9 in the first place. Anyway, thanks mom. Pfft. I got there to find there’s some sort of security dilemma, with security guards all over the place, and those undercover queer-looking people with sunglasses, and people with walkie-talkies saying their 5 km away from something, and people prowling about gardens that are too young to be vagrants. It was plain scary, especially with the fact that my MP died on me, so now I could hear all the comments flying at me, I changed tracks fast and got back, calling my friend as soon as I did and told her to ditch. She got held back because some dudes in a car stopped near and wanted to pick her up. The little fuckers. Anywho, I got back to find someone had sent a document to be translated from Arabic to English. Apparently the document is a bigass research! I didn’t sign up for this, “helping out” did not include drudging for inhumane hours so that some old fart would skim over it and ditches it for picking his nose!

quite-a-pickle

I had the Google translate on my side, being bilingual was never a good thing at that. It’s not my fault I don’t know “zorroof” is the same as conditions. 7 pages out of 14 into it, I research a term only to find the exact replica of the fucking research online! AFTER 7 HOURS OF FORCEFEEDING ARABIC WORDS INTO MY HEAD TO GET THEIR ENGLISH EQUIVALENT WHEN I DON’T KNOW THEM IN ARABIC IN THE FIRST PLACE, I FIND OUT THE OLD FUCK HAD JUST TRANSLATED IT FROM AN ONLINE SITE! My nerves. I could hear my brain cells dying as I drudged on. It was fucking too much. I copied and pasted the rest, wasn’t too nice to the person and swore on my coffee that I’m NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT helping *them* out again. Then, close buddy was back on, we agreed I’ll be getting Smartass 101 tutelage, since I’m already a badass. Right now I had a blinding headache which comes and goes in a flash, but will hang on for a bit because I promised them I’d be there if they couldn’t sleep. Now, I found out that I messed up my WMP lists by moving the location of most of the songs on an impulsive organizing fit. Fuck! Well, Good news, I have cupcakes sitting next to me, and I said no to the coffee that mom made for me without asking. That’s about it people. =/

burned-out

Monday 19 July 2010

Catharsis

Lemme tell you what I do when I feel like punching the face off someone. I go jogging. I run till I can’t walk anymore then run some more, and then for the entire next day, I can barely walk let alone stand unpropped, but I feel better. Call me masochistic or opheliac or whatever, but somehow the 2 or 3 hours of running and a day of painfully stretched leg and ab muscles are the best catharsis one could ask for, besides trashing a car or grabbing a spray can to graffiti a building beyond recognition. You don’t go to jail for overworking your legs. Of course you have to add to the hours every now in then , because your body gets used to it as it grows fit. If you're thinking of trying that out, 10 minutes should do the trick. My way of punching it out in a pillow, so to speak. Somehow, overworking the muscles “underworks” the head. I dunno how it works, but it does. Besides the shot of endorphins, you’ll feel like you own the universe.

jogging route

What I see when I go jogging:

  • The Dog-walkers. People walking their precious dogs, which is usual in this area since the dogs outnumber humans two to one. I remember watching this stand-up comedian, Seinfeld, put it way better than I ever can. “On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags. This, to me, is the lowest activity in human life. Following a dog with a little scooper. Waiting for him to go so you can walk down the street with it in your bag. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them is making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”.
  • The Couple. If they’re old enough you’ll see the telepathic understanding that makes you think they’re almost communicating in imaginary winks, never jogging out of each other’s pace or even looking at one another, yet are synchronised. If they’re young enough, there are three types. The first where the female is talking nonsensically and incessantly into thin air, laughing at her own jokes with the male uncomfortably looking ahead with brief toe-checking head bows, so obviously unused to being perceived as in the realm of couple-hood. The second, the male talking and bragging, also into thin air, so that it almost seems as if he’s trying to exercise every muscle in his body, including his tongue muscle, whereas the female is usually uncomfortably sporting a tight lipped expression, breathing harder when she exhales in one of those concealed sighs. The third and most boring, are the quiet ones. They do not stand in  comparison with the older ones, because to an outsider’s eye, all of their energy is going into the effort of keeping in synch with one another without actually talking. Reason unknown, but they’re taking themselves a bit too seriously.
  • The Hunk. Sporting up his headphones, six pack abs and floating near by to the ground bending and reverberating with his weight, almost bouncing him back up in between hops, so full of himself, conscious of exactly how hot he is and hiding the smirk till after he passes you by.
  • The Timid Hottie. The female version of the aforementioned hunk. She knows she’s a looker, and takes her time, turning heads and breaking the crumbs of ego left in the menopausal maniacs. We’ll come to that later.
  • The Teens. Those are usually in twos and threes, more to chatter than find safety in numbers, confrontationally sporting egos bigger than their oversized shoes, jogging effortlessly back and forth exchanging jokes out of breath so that you hear the most absurd lines out of context.
  • The Lonely Spinsters and The Menopausal Maniacs. The former usually fat and not so presentable whilst the latter in flirtatious clothes, so obviously asking for it, almost always giving you the sideway glance in pure despise you couldn’t possibly have had it coming. More often than not, they’ll do anything to outrun you, and to tell you the truth, I usually slow down till they pass me by, right up into their depressed bubble.
  • The Old Man. Barely able to walk, inventing a jogging pace of his own, where he walks wobbling, thus giving whatever balance centre in his head the impression of jogging without actually having to do it. More like a bottle in the sea, the sideway duck gait as he handles himself with the utmost care, knowing how breakable he is. Nevertheless, they hang around more than the couples, spinsters and sometimes even teens. I’m beginning to think one keeps their determination in one’s knees.
  • The Desperate 40ers. Usually males, the best dressed and most groomed, jogging for an ego boost, relishing the feeling of control more than the burning of calories. Their jogging pace shows it so, bolting all of a sudden in all the glory of a couch potato, then panting and coming to a halt out of breath not a couple of minutes into it. That’s when the fancy water bottles and other unnamely gadgets start showing up. Oh for the love of coffee, go masturbate or something.
  • The Prowlers. The scariest genre. Usually passive with the exception of the active bunch. Hanging around in parked cars or walking back and forth calling people names and following you around till you’re scared out of your wits and end up making a scene or running for it. I usually run for it, most of them are too doped up and suicidal to think twice about turning you into an obituary picture since most of them wouldn’t even afford one.
  • The Joggers. Usually misfits with sweat stains like inverted halos on the backs of their cotton T-shirts. They know what they’re doing and they don’t look farther than a couple of tiles down the road. They know their way around, with padded sneakers to decrease impact and perfectly spaced out breathing patterns to get the most out of the cardiovascular workout, so they don’t look like an overworked track dog before you can say “good morning”.

Sunday 18 July 2010

Karma’s a bitch

Life Lesson #40: Don’t expect. Ever. Anything. Not one. You expect long lost friend to come, she doesn’t. You expect a call to work, it doesn’t. You expect someone to drive you to a meeting they don’t. Just. Don’t. Karma’s a bitch. Not even qualified to be a slut because sluts are easy.

Life Lesson #41: There’s nothing more ironic than the fact the you wanted to go running and didn’t because you couldn’t find your pants.

Life Lesson #42: Tic Tacs are not food. Nutella crêpe and shawerma are.

Life Lesson #43: Nothing beats microwaved "gebna roumy”. All molten and spiked up. Well, except maybe Nutella spread on crunchy toast? But no. Molten Gebna Roumy. Yum

Life Lesson #44: If you put a Nutella jar in the microwave, it doesn’t explode into smithereens blowing up the microwave and killing you with the flying figments Batman style. :)

Life Lesson #45: Maison Thomas <3

Life Lesson #46: This morning, I felt like extending my jogging route, just so I’d get a better chance at catharsis to tell you the truth, and I ran into one of my schoolmates! Apparently she runs in that part every morning, along with another 2 buddies, so if I’d extended it before I woulda bumped into them long ago. Grr. Her tuned in to BSB and me to me good old T.I. we hit the road. When you meet a friend by coincidence at a point on your jogging route, it makes you wonder why karma is being nice to you all of a sudden. To kill you in your sleep? Just balancing the odds here. Well, I got grounded that same day anyway, so yeah, I won’t get killed in my sleep after all, it’s already balanced up.

Life Lesson #47: When you think your social life can’t get any more fucked up, Karma rushes in to prove you wrong. It takes guts to handle rejection for being uncategorizable, because some people are just not open-minded enough to accept people as they are, or leave you alone to it. Well, I’m sorry nuttos, I’ll take your criticism, I’ll live with you shunning me, but I’m not changing for you. Go on calling me names. You’ll never get it.

Life Lesson #48: I’m a shawty and proud of it. Looking up to people is not that bad after all.

Life Lesson #49: Cold war ftw.

Friday 16 July 2010

Go die in a hole…like Mozart

Life Lesson #30: You can be impulsive all you want, within national limits.

Life Lesson #31: Looking at your laptop for 5 hours won’t make things happen. Dumping  your laptop for 5 hours will.

Life Lesson #32: When you hug someone and they don’t hug back, it means you should probably buzz off, actually that shoulda buzzed off long ago. The only things allowed not to hug back are trees, and I have a friend who is a firm believer that trees do hug back.

Life Lesson #33: Best friends are the ones who get the best of you, but it’s the close ones that close the deal. Pwned.

Life Lesson #34: With a good book glued to your hands, headphones stuffed halfway into your head and a good jogging route, you couldn’t ask for more. Probably new running shoes though, but you get the point.

Life Lesson #35: Doing a 446 Interview on an FB app that you know no one’s gonna read is one of em stop signs fate smashes, zeuss-style, in front of you almost skinning your nose in the process. Stop. See how pathetic that is. Move on.

Life Lesson #36: Hang out with the people you can “not make sense” with and call fucktards without them minding. Formalities are nothing but wedgies up intimacy’s ass.

Life Lesson #37: When you have better stories to contribute on FML and MLIA, it’s also one of em nose-skinning stop signs, only this time up your ass.

Life Lesson #38: Ditch. Be ditched. Don’t ditch. Be ditched all the same. I say fucking ditch.

Life Lesson #39: Not getting coffee when you’re a coffee addict should not coincide with major events in your life. Life’s coffee is de-caff. You need the coffee fix.

Idioms

Out of the blue, I find myself googling idioms.

Bend Over Backwards:
Do whatever it takes to help. Willing to do anything.

Having flooded my friend’s wall, even though they wouldn’t be reading it any time soon, sending a text into outer space knowing it won’t get there for coverage but sending it anyway and just, well, raping their wall…

Dead Ringer:
100% identical. A duplicate.

Having almost called another friend at 6 am to say  “I’m gonna miss you” and “Try and smuggle a friggin cell phone it’s a fun camp for God’s sake and not strike-against-modern-technology-to-get-dusty-and-have-fun-being-homesick camp!”, to find out that I thought tomorrow was today so I could have woken them up at 6 am only to make a complete idiot out of myself as usual…

Doozy:
Something outstanding.

Having found out that today’s the 17th out of sheer coincidence, because for some reason I’d believed that if yesterday was the 16th then tomorrow’s the 18th, considering that you’re standing somewhere on time’s butt crack. Or it could just be that my subconscious wanted to wipe 17th off the calendar, for that’s when my long lost, no-shit-giving friend ,who could be reading my blog only to see that so many people know her as the one and only wicked witch of the west by now, is coming back.

Eighty Six:
A certain item is no longer available. Or this idiom can also mean, to throw away.

Having worked with a friend on a joint article, narrated through the eyes of a 7 year old autistic boy after finding that yet another person I click with is fleeing the city/country within the two weeks during which fate has decided to give my social life a bone crushing massage. Do I look like a fucking people person to you?

Finding Your Feet:
To become more comfortable in whatever you are doing.

Having had a headache, on and off, during the last withdrawal week so that your head doesn’t remember what it’s like to be headache-less anymore. In addition to another passing-out inducing, headache-invoking cause, headaches are really beginning to grow on me.

Flip The Bird:
To raise your middle finger at someone.

Having done all of that, I bend over backwards to try and find my feet and feel all doozy without the headache only to find that the prospect is a definite eighty six and that karma’s flipping the bird on me.

Dead Ringer luck.

Wednesday 14 July 2010

Once upon a time

Once upon a time, a little introvert called Rory, known to have escaped decaff-rehab, has 3 close buddies in the whole wide world.

One night, she learns something.

ONE is travelling out of the country for 2 whole weeks. She flips.

TWO has a camp for a week, going a day later. She flinches.

THREE is going hit the beach on the coast for 2 whole weeks, leaving a day later. She goes officially nuts.

Let’s hope she doesn’t kill herself.

The End.

Mush-enhanced blog post

Image 3

#1 : Quit sleeping, drink all the coffee humanly possible so my waking hours would double. Wasn’t much of a sleeper anyway and I’ll be getting enough of that when I buzz off.

#2: Eat all the ice cream and chocolate that can fit comfortably inside a human stomach, then cram the rest.

#3: Hug the fuck out of everyone I give a crap for with and without reason to. Waiting for the opportune time never did anyone any good, but then again clocks hate me so I’m not one to judge.

#4: Write a really long book no one would really read.

#5: Give away all my stuff to a couple of my friends, I’d hate if my laptop ended in the hands of some Somali who used it as an umbrella, my logo T-shirts as butt wipes and my Rubik’s cubes for knocking out a turkey for dinner.

#6: Say everything I thought would be creepy if said out loud, except that I already do that. Meh.

#7: Attend a Yann Tiersen concert.

#8: Get a Karma transplant and wish for the best.

Backspace

Image 1 

Backspace. Backspace.Backspace.

Had this blog had no readers, I wouldn’t have stopped to think before clicking publish, but you see, I’ve never been good with audiences, or with anything personal for that matter. That’s why my drafts folder is always full. God I wish I could just write my heart out you know, but you can’t do that now can you?

Yes you can.

My friend took me out last night only to ditch me in the middle of a place overflowing with people that already know each other backwards, because she found something more interesting to do and someone more amusing to hang out with. For sometime, when I got tired of socializing only to find that I got  people’s attention for not more than a couple of minutes at a time, then they’d slightly and almost magnetically re-adjust the way they were standing to form a perfect circle that I’m left out of, I walked out on all those crowds and sat on the stairs staring into nothingness, waiting till it’s 10:30 so someone will pick me up and get me back home.

You know what sucks? That’s a close friend of mine.

There is a bright side and a dark side to everything you know. Since I’m used to people doing that to me and, well, used to moving on my own, someone over there was nice enough to call her mum and say she’ll hang out for a little while longer just so she wouldn’t leave me hanging till someone picked me up because I didn’t know my way around. She didn’t have to do that. I didn’t ask her to. She just did. She was nice to a complete stranger, for absolutely no reason at all.

That’s one thing.

 

Are you talking with *name*... ?

no

Wait what?

do you mean like generally or now

?

lol both

generally yes

now no

*they’re* offline

lol

ok I don't want to be mean to you, but *they’re* online..

oh

oh

oh

See?

ow

I'm sorry if that hurt.

I understand why

no actually I needed that

It’s my fault actually

S:

I'm gonna go now

 

I kinda had that one coming though. For being a clingy asshole.

But that’s another thing.

Bright side? I’m not sure. And you know what sucks? that person is a close friend too.

Do I go on? There’s more you know. 5 more. In 2 days. More with the ditching and more with the things I always backspace.

Meh.

Monday 12 July 2010

37648_10150218230880632_739285631_13297023_4884417_n

Why I love coffee

#1 : It never let me down, unlike most people.

#2: It kicks in each morning, light morning kiss, warms the insides, makes you feel great in just a couple of minutes.

#3: Jumpstarts your mood, and makes you feel awake enough not to typo yourself out of the human realms or others out of sane ones.

#4: You’re not exactly awake without it, and it never ditches. All you have to do is sip, it does the rest. If I wasn’t sure I’d say it’s better than family.

sleep_thumb

#5: Coffee doesn’t talk back. It keeps its mouth shut and takes it like a man. Not only does it shut up, but it also gives you a buzz. You don’t find that kind of altruism anywhere else.

#6: It’s never the same. There’s coffee with cream, there're are coffee cocktails, latte, that long refreshing coffee, a single espresso that is gently poured into a tall glass of steamed milk to diffuse into a layered visual delight., you name it. So you don’t have to worry about it boring you, It’s probably more self-renovating than your own skin.

#7: No need for a breath mint, you’ll smell like coffee for a couple of hours afterwards, so not only does it actually work on you, but it actually improves your socializing experience! I guarantee people will come around sniffing and just, well, drink you up!

#8: Coffee makes you feel better, think better and, hence, live better. Turn water into Coffee!

JC-Coffee

#9: Coffee is probably the last legal narcotic, and that’s probably because “they” haven’t realized yet or because “they” know it and choose the keep the last drug that keeps them sane temporarily for the price of driving them nuts on the long run, which is probably better than being old, icky smelling and demented.

#10: Which reminds me, when you’re old, you won’t be old, icky-smelling and demented, you’ll be old and alert with a coffee aroma following you everywhere you go, because you’ll probably spill coffee all over you because coffee develops Parkinson’s syndrome, but it’s all part of the smelling good strategy I assure you, all for the sprinkling effect.

#11: It keeps the withdrawal headaches away. I mean I know you can all relate to that, coffee loves you so much it might get possessive sometimes, claiming a sector in your brain that goes bad without updating. I’m sure you can excuse coffee, it’s coffee’s way of insurance you won’t walk out on her after you’ve been together for so long. You can excuse the clingy asshole when you remember all the early morning loving that sobers you up the second of contact. You know what I mean dontcha.

coffee #12: Coffee has its own way of saying I love you. It makes you feel so good with her that you can’t live without her, and rot in hell and headache and pain and withdrawal and craving and dementia. Sleep wouldn’t be the same without her. Work wouldn’t be the same without her. Just well, you wouldn’t be the same after coffee. You think Karma is a bitch? Ha! I bet you’re a coffee virgin then.Getta load of it, however, and you’re hooked.

gilmore_girls_thumb

#13: Nothing that sweet and secular is legal anymore, enjoy it while it lasts.

#14: Coffee keeps your mouth busy, distracting it from doing a lot of other “stuff”. *winks*

#15: It sacrifices its existence, passing away on your taste buds, to make you feel better. Who does that these days? It might as well be the human equivalent of pushing you from in front of a speeding car only to get squashed into man sauce!

deadline500 Coffee. The modern saint. The mug of instant gratification.The ultimate philanthropist. The jealous mate. The dangerous ex. The “THE” in life.

Sunday 11 July 2010

Coffee-less, grounded and lonely.

Sappy eh? Shut up.

Life Lesson #20: Populus Vult Decipi. People want to be deceived. The more honest you are, the more screwed you’ll be. Sugar coat and sweet talk to get what you want. Can’t? Time to learn, puppet.

Life Lesson #21: I learned a new word this week. Manbooz(a). Charming isn’t it? No it isn’t.

Life Lesson #22: If you’re distraught enough to make tea and forget to drink it when you’re trying to go off coffee, then you need help. When you still drink your tea all cold an vapid, just because you need a pseudo coffee-fix, then you need help.

Life Lesson #23: When your ego won’t let you cry, then you need help. Any help, from professional help to slap-me-around-a-little-till-I-feel-anything help, you name it.

Life Lesson #24: Meet me on the Equinox – Death cab for Cutie

“Meet me on your best behaviour
Meet me at your worst
For there will be no stone unturned
Or bubble left to burst
Let me lay beside you, Darling
Let me be your man
And let our bodies intertwine
But always understand
That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything ends
That everything, everything, everything ends”

Life Lesson #25: You don’t put the teabag inside the kettle. I’m still not sure why, but the kettle didn’t look very happy about it.

Life Lesson #26:  You get to abuse the people who convinced you to go off coffee all week you’re suffering from blinding withdrawal headaches. Guilt-free. Relish it.

Life Lesson #27: Silent treatment hurts. Especially when you’re too egotistical to break it and ask for a pain killer for that headache that seemed to leak to you neck. Oh well, I guess if your ego won’t let you talk to get the pill, it should equally work to shut you up from blogging about it.

Life Lesson #28: When you dread the day your supposedly oldest friend is back for a couple of weeks, you know something’s wrong.

Life Lesson #29: However plausible it sounds at its time, don’t kill yourself. You’ll be a selfish asshole quitting on people like that, not to mention the mess you’ll be making. Blood stains you know. Suck it up and handle it. Stop being a wimp and stop listening to evanescence. Rhetorical?

Bah

It’s not the greatest feeling being online with supposedly your closest couple of friends on but they don’t bother to say Hi. It’s not just that, but they also don’t wanna talk to you even when You do. With no apparent reason than the fact that you’re probably a boring fuck.

Going on with the UNpleasantries, I learn that my ex-bestie, who’d immigrated and never wrote back, and by wrote back I mean doesn’t reply to my msn/fb posts, also for no apparent reason than that she just is not interested in you once you’re more than a door away, not that she was when you were, is coming back on the 17th for two weeks. I’m having another one of em ego battles here people.

Speaking of ego, it got me grounded :) oh yeah, not the most pleasant feeling in the world. Being too confrontational doesn’t always do me good you know. Cancelling out on a couple of outings wasn’t a very pleasant feeling either. Well not a couple. Whatever. Time to man up and take the fall I guess.

This is going nowhere. Oh for the love of coffee…

Just another one of my blabbering blog posts. Whoteva. 446 questions on that interview app got me all bloggywoggy.

This is the second day on my “Coffee-less Week” quest. Got one of em 3 hour mind-splitting withdrawal headaches. You don’t wanna try those. Hold on to your coffee mugs people, don’t do that to yourselves. Coffee is NOT evil. People who tell you to go off coffee are.

Gawd what I’d do for a mugga cawffee now… Meh

Saturday 10 July 2010

6:32 – 7:12

05:50:33

           

I

05:50:33

           

can't

05:50:34

           

fucking

05:50:35

           

sleep

05:50:39

           

FUCK!

06:32:56

           

Wow.

06:33:00

           

You’re still awake.

06:33:39

           

or are you

06:33:41

           

hmm

06:33:47

           

God I love bugging you

06:33:48

           

^^

06:33:52

           

GO TO SLEEP

06:33:56

           

DON'T BE NUTS LIKE ME!

06:34:06

           

sleep

06:34:08

           

pillows

06:34:10

           

fairies

06:34:16

           

cold pillows

06:34:27

           

Fluffy cold pillows

06:34:36

           

soft fluffy cold pillows

06:34:47

           

Pillows saying come

and squash me

06:34:51

           

pillows

06:35:00

           

nope

06:35:03

           

you're not awake

06:35:09

           

I'm talking to thin air

06:35:14

           

which I'll just go on doing

06:35:22

           

since I've updated my blog

with utter nonsense

06:35:53

           

and found out that 2 other

people ended up updating

their blogs at 4 am with utter

nonsense even though they

were both online and could

have easily chatted

06:35:58

           

pillows

06:36:06

           

Did I tell you how pillows

don't like me?

06:36:14

           

And how I’m officially insane

after 4?

06:36:16

           

hm

06:36:18

           

Guess not

06:36:22

           

well guess what

06:36:25

           

it's after 4

06:36:32

           

Pillows

06:36:37

           

you're not awake

06:36:41

           

you're awake

06:36:43

           

you're not awake

06:36:46

           

you're awake

06:36:48

           

no you're not

06:36:49

           

are you

06:36:51

           

hmm

06:36:52

           

no you're not

06:36:56

           

still though

06:36:59

           

this is entertaining

06:37:05

           

very

06:37:13

           

Did I tell you I do that

to people?

06:37:16

           

Every day?

06:37:22

           

I chase them off the msn

list

06:37:23

           

one

06:37:24

           

by

06:37:25

           

one

06:37:29

           

mwahahahahaha (6)

06:37:35

           

Unpredictable?

06:37:36

           

well

06:37:39

           

nuts

06:37:40

           

yes

06:37:44

           

fun>

06:37:46

           

hell yes

06:37:59

           

never mind the fact that I

wrote hess yel and backspaced

06:38:01

           

oh yeah

06:38:04

           

I"m sleepy

06:38:08

           

but I can't sleep

06:38:10

           

I wonder why

06:38:13

           

maybe the coffeee

06:38:18

           

maybe because I"m nuts

06:38:19

           

well

06:38:25

           

I got that covered in the

blog post

06:38:26

           

moving on

06:38:28

           

to buggin you

06:38:35

           

because I like doing that to people

06:38:48

           

and because I have another two

on my list that i want

to chase off into oblivion

06:38:51

           

Pillows

06:38:55

           

don't you just love pillows?

06:38:59

           

and msn alert

06:39:01

           

sounding

06:39:02

           

beep

06:39:03

           

beep

06:39:12

           

but not if you have your

speakers on mute eh?

06:39:15

           

sneaky

06:39:16

           

well

06:39:22

           

that flashing thingie bugs too

06:39:26

           

but not if you're asleep

06:39:28

           

which you are

06:39:32

           

sleep

06:39:35

           

i miss that

06:39:37

           

pillows

06:39:40

           

they're not nice

06:39:43

           

they're vicious

06:39:49

           

they eat your head when

you're not looking

06:39:52

           

they're soft

06:39:53

           

and fluffy

06:39:59

           

but they're vicious

06:40:03

           

pillows

06:40:10

           

creative eh?

06:40:11

           

no

06:40:14

           

not creative

06:40:15

           

nuts

06:40:18

           

and friggin bored

06:40:22

           

and not being able ot sleep

06:40:26

           

after two hours of trying

06:40:31

           

that bugs you know

06:40:39

           

not being able to fall asleep

06:40:43

           

but you're not awake

06:40:46

           

how would you know

06:40:49

           

ahh

06:40:51

           

pillows

06:41:01

           

and facebook homepage

06:41:04

           

flooded with pics

06:41:06

           

of sunglasses

06:41:09

           

bikinis

06:41:14

           

and just mumbo jumbo

06:41:24

           

a lot are online you know

06:41:29

           

just they don't show it

06:41:40

           

because there's this little

bugger living on msn

06:41:47

           

that drives everyone nuts

06:41:48

           

yes

06:41:49

           

that's me

06:41:53

           

(A)

06:41:55

           

why hello there

06:41:59

           

pillows say hi

06:42:03

           

cushions say hi too

06:42:06

           

but not like pillows

06:42:16

           

pillows are soft and fluffy

06:42:26

           

and get you sleepy

if you're human

06:42:28

           

are you human

06:42:29

           

well

06:42:30

           

you are

06:42:34

           

because you're not awake

06:42:36

           

you're asleep

06:42:39

           

you're snoozing

06:42:41

           

you're ZZing

06:42:52

           

you're off to the horizon

06:42:55

           

Pillows

06:42:58

           

oh them pillows

06:43:04

           

yep

06:43:13

           

no one can handle the

bugging that long

06:43:16

           

you're sleeping

06:43:17

           

or dead

06:43:21

           

I'll go with sleeping

06:43:32

           

because no one dies on their

available status

06:43:39

           

because it changes to away

in a few seconds

06:43:45

           

so you're sleeping

06:43:49

           

you've just fallen asleep

06:43:50

           

or maybe

06:43:52

           

just maybe

06:44:00

           

you're a ghost

06:44:01

           

haha

06:44:02

           

god

06:44:07

           

I'm not drunk

06:44:14

           

or you woulda seen typos

06:44:18

           

I'm not making typos

06:44:21

           

I just go nuts

06:44:23

           

after 4

06:44:26

           

you never saw that though

06:44:28

           

because you slept

06:44:31

           

like good boys

06:44:35

           

go sleep

06:44:40

           

pillows call

06:44:47

           

float to bed oh little one

06:44:56

           

let them ZZs guide you there

06:45:00

           

but then again

06:45:03

           

you're already asleep

06:45:08

           

so that's pointless

06:45:12

           

why should I stop though

06:45:17

           

when I'm having so much fun

06:45:21

           

beats blogging

06:45:25

           

blogging doesn't have a face

06:45:28

           

you have a face

06:45:40

           

even though pillows eat

off faces you know

06:45:45

           

that's why I don't like them

06:45:48

           

and they don't like me

06:45:51

           

pillows don't like me

06:45:54

           

and clocks hate me

06:45:59

           

but pillows jsut don't llike me

06:46:04

           

it's good though

06:46:11

           

i don't have to meet up with

them that much

06:46:13

           

Right

06:46:21

           

so you're either not human

or you're asleep

06:46:27

           

but I'm guessing you're both

06:46:38

           

so I'll jsut go on and on

06:46:39

           

on

06:46:39

           

and

06:46:40

           

on

06:46:41

           

and

06:46:42

           

on

06:46:42

           

and

06:46:43

           

on

06:46:44

           

and

06:46:45

           

on

06:46:46

           

and

06:46:46

           

on

06:46:51

           

till pillows talk

06:46:53

           

and say they like me

06:46:58

           

so I'd go to sleep

06:47:26

           

because I'm tired of reading

and solving a Rubik's cube

that has been next to my

bed for a while

06:47:27

           

well

06:47:29

           

some while

06:47:31

           

a long while

06:47:35

           

and that other one

06:47:37

           

that scary one

06:47:41

           

that 5x5 one

06:47:45

           

staring right back at me

06:47:50

           

with all its perfection

06:47:55

           

and squareness

06:48:04

           

and well, just, intimidating

the fuck out of me

06:48:08

           

so I won't start on it

06:48:17

           

I'll just hang on to me

baby 3 x 3 one

06:48:21

           

that I"ve been on for a year now

06:48:29

           

ha them pillows

06:48:37

           

pillows don't like rubik's cube

you know

06:48:42

           

because pillows don't like me

06:48:47

           

and I like rubik's cube

06:48:54

           

so pillows don't like rubik's cube

06:48:58

           

nothing personal though

06:49:01

           

pillows

06:49:03

           

you know

06:49:10

           

you know what pillows like?

06:49:13

           

huh

06:49:14

           

huh

06:49:16

           

?

06:49:17

           

well

06:49:19

           

I wouldn't know

06:49:23

           

because I don't like pillows

06:49:27

           

and they don't like me back

06:49:31

           

go to sleep

06:49:37

           

so you don't wind up like me

06:49:45

           

yalla

06:49:48

           

you'll go nuts

06:49:51

           

you don't wanna go nuts

06:50:03

           

or pillows won't like you

06:50:11

           

pillows don't like people

who are nuts

06:50:19

           

because I'm nuts

06:50:23

           

and pillows don't like me

06:50:28

           

serious

06:50:31

           

hmm

06:50:34

           

what else

06:50:36

           

ah

06:50:45

           

pillows LOVE re--runs

06:50:48

           

because I don't like em

06:50:55

           

but they keep me awake

anyhow

06:50:59

           

god I'm tired of typing

06:51:00

           

well

06:51:04

           

there's another solution

06:51:07

           

you could block me

06:51:08

           

YAY!

06:51:12

           

salvation

06:51:25

           

but then again I'd just

move on to the other two

on my playlist

06:51:35

           

because pillows like them

06:51:38

           

and I don't like pillows

06:51:48

           

I think you know that by now

06:51:54

           

do pillows like you?

06:51:55

           

well

06:51:58

           

I'd say they do

06:52:02

           

because you're not awake

06:52:04

           

you're asleep

06:52:10

           

you're not even reading this

06:52:21

           

It's still entertaining though

06:52:24

           

typing practise

06:52:30

           

will look good on my CV

06:52:40

           

pushing my 35 words

per minute right up

to 60

06:52:42

           

well

06:52:45

           

that happens

06:52:52

           

because I use all of my

ten fingers

06:53:03

           

people type faster with two

and looking at the keyboard

06:53:09

           

which is mind-boggling

06:53:14

           

since ten > 1

06:53:18

           

so,

06:53:20

           

using logic

06:53:24

           

it would be faster

06:53:26

           

aha

06:53:29

           

you're not awake

06:53:35

           

ah

06:53:44

           

no patience exceeds the

humane limit

06:53:44

           

well

06:53:49

           

I'm glad you're asleep

06:53:53

           

but I'm having fun

06:53:59

           

woulda written another blog post

06:54:02

           

naaaaaaah

06:54:29

           

why advertise my nuttiness when

I could use it up as reserve as

I drive people nuts,

one by one every night

06:54:32

           

they change you know

06:54:37

           

they're not the same every night

06:54:39

           

like now

06:54:41

           

I have 3

06:54:44

           

including you

06:54:45

           

last night

06:54:48

           

were 5

06:54:58

           

not even including tonight's 3

06:55:10

           

nightowl-iness is,.. what's

the word

06:55:12

           

can't remember

06:55:16

           

oh whatever

06:55:30

           

you know what hates

nightowl-iness?

06:55:33

           

Pillows.

06:55:37

           

The vicious pillows

06:55:42

           

the ones that bite your head off

06:55:54

           

stand in the way of your ears

06:55:57

           

pillows

06:56:01

           

they look friendly

06:56:03

           

but they're not

06:56:06

           

they're enemies

06:56:09

           

they're aliens

06:56:13

           

they're undercover spies

06:56:18

           

they're ETs!

06:56:23

           

they record your brain waves

06:56:28

           

and send them off

06:56:35

           

to make experiments

06:56:44

           

record the thoughts of the

human race

06:56:52

           

and come up with a diabolic

plan

06:56:57

           

after reading everyone's minds

06:57:05

           

and destroying the world!

06:57:14

           

wouldn't work with you if

you're apathetic

06:57:19

           

what the fuck does the world

matter

06:57:20

           

well

06:57:25

           

they don't do that just yet

06:57:29

           

they torture you first

06:57:35

           

they distort your brain waves

06:57:41

           

sending you off having

sleepless nights

06:57:44

           

just like me

06:57:47

           

and headaches

06:57:50

           

and neckache

06:57:54

           

oh them pillows

06:58:01

           

they bend in so many ways

06:58:17

           

for no other reason than to

ache your neck

06:58:29

           

short mind reading abilities

you say?

06:58:30

           

no

06:58:32

           

nonononono

06:58:33

           

pillows

06:58:36

           

they're vicious

06:58:46

           

they pick up brain waves

if you're in the vicinity

06:58:51

           

even in the same room

06:58:55

           

they lure you in

06:58:57

           

from afar

06:59:06

           

with all their softness

and fluffiness

06:59:10

           

so you'd come

06:59:15

           

just like the prey you are

06:59:18

           

and lay your head

06:59:26

           

enjoying how cold they are

on a hot night

06:59:28

           

then

06:59:31

           

Just then

06:59:36

           

when you're most vulnerable

06:59:42

           

they evacuate your thoughts

06:59:45

           

suck em in

06:59:50

           

and send em off to outer space

06:59:54

           

where they are coded

06:59:57

           

analyzed

07:00:00

           

recorded

07:00:02

           

experimented

07:00:05

           

observed

07:00:08

           

and compared

07:00:20

           

and it happens again and again

07:00:23

           

till you can't sleep anymore

07:00:27

           

so you don't use them pillows

07:00:33

           

that's when their job is done

07:00:39

           

the diabolic plan is elaborate

07:00:47

           

and they're ready to

destrooooooooooy the

woooooooooorld!

07:00:58

           

and they don't even destroy

it like poof boom tish

07:00:58

           

no

07:01:00

           

nononono

07:01:07

           

it happens slowly

07:01:14

           

like the feeling you have

when you're climbing a

mountain

07:01:16

           

the air is there

07:01:19

           

but you can't breathe

07:01:31

           

because the oxygen

doesn't have as much

guts as you

07:01:37

           

it clings on to dear life

on the surface

07:01:39

           

so you suffocate

07:01:42

           

and you don't just die

07:01:42

           

no

07:01:49

           

you kill braincells first

07:01:56

           

but who am i talking to

07:02:02

           

you probably know

that stuff by heart

07:02:09

           

you study it dont' you?

07:02:12

           

oh yes you do

07:02:18

           

but I bet they don't

tell you about pillows

07:02:21

           

no they don't

07:02:25

           

because they're scared

07:02:40

           

they're scared that if they

tell people about the

vicious pillows

07:02:46

           

the pillows will take their

sleep away

07:02:51

           

and give them headaches

07:02:59

           

that have nothing to do

with coffee

07:03:02

           

however

07:03:05

           

it's no use now

07:03:09

           

since you're asleep

07:03:19

           

and in the middle of

the mind sucking process

07:03:22

           

your mind

07:03:23

           

is being

07:03:24

           

sucked

07:03:25

           

out

07:03:26

           

of

07:03:26

           

your

07:03:28

           

ears

07:03:37

           

your brain waves are

being plagirised

07:03:41

           

oh yes

07:03:44

           

them pillows

07:03:51

           

soft and fluffy they say

07:03:54

           

cold on a hot night

07:04:00

           

sink in just the right amount

07:04:02

           

no

07:04:08

           

fit in the curve of your neck

07:04:09

           

no

07:04:16

           

they're gadgets

07:04:21

           

high tech gadgets

07:04:28

           

that are sensitive to touch

07:04:34

           

and adapt to the environment

07:04:37

           

Pillows.

07:04:49

           

They adapt to the shape

of your neck

07:04:55

           

and the inside of your ears

07:05:02

           

to get just the right amount

07:05:06

           

pillows

07:05:08

           

ah

07:05:13

           

vicious pillows

07:05:20

           

and you know what

pillows do too?

07:05:22

           

They talk

07:05:23

           

oh yes

07:05:31

           

in other languages

07:05:39

           

so you wouldn't get them

when they communicate

07:05:44

           

vicious plans

07:05:49

           

vicious pillowy plans

07:05:58

           

vicious fluffy pillowy

plans

07:06:09

           

vicious soft fluffy pillow

plans

07:06:20

           

viciour cold soft fluffly

pillowy plans

07:06:25

           

to eachother

07:06:33

           

and you don't get them

07:06:35

           

you know why?

07:06:39

           

because the pillows

07:06:41

           

ARE

07:06:42

           

VICIOUS

07:06:48

           

GET AWAY

07:06:56

           

SAVE

YOURRRRRRRSEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLF

07:07:08

           

the pillows.

07:07:10

           

them pillows

07:07:14

           

them vicious pillows

07:07:27

           

with a language that's even

beyond that of lil wayne's

07:07:32

           

oh yeah

07:07:36

           

they're that vicious

07:07:46

           

but you're asleep

07:07:47

           

meh

07:07:49

           

good for you

07:07:57

           

hope your mindsucking is

going with a slow rate

07:08:03

           

you don't wanna have em

headaches do you

07:08:06

           

of course you don't

07:08:14

           

no one in their right minds

wishes for the like

07:08:19

           

because they're not humane

07:08:22

           

which makes sense

07:08:28

           

because they're caused by

pillows

07:08:32

           

and pillows are aliens

07:08:35

           

so

07:08:43

           

it's an extraterrestrial

headaches

07:08:54

           

charged with parallel

universes

07:08:58

           

and planets

07:09:05

           

with evil little creatures

07:09:09

           

that look so friendly

07:09:11

           

so cute

07:09:14

           

so fluffy

07:09:17

           

so soft

07:09:25

           

and cold on a hot night,

hot on a cold night

07:09:34

           

just the right amount of

sinking in

07:09:42

           

not to comfort you but to fit

in your crevices

07:09:49

           

get all the information it can get

07:09:54

           

and you know what's ironic?

07:09:58

           

people love them so much

07:10:04

           

they love them so fucking much

07:10:07

           

hug them every night

07:10:09

           

sleep with them

07:10:13

           

and you know what's ironic?

07:10:20

           

you hug your pillow

07:10:23

           

and it's an alien

07:10:29

           

and you probably ahven't hugged

your cat

07:10:31

           

and your cat

07:10:45

           

with all its cat like manipulative

nature

07:10:53

           

possibly loves you way more

then them pillows

07:10:59

           

but you don't sleep on your

cat do you?

07:11:03

           

your cat is not an alien

07:11:09

           

it doesn't suck your brainwaves

07:11:15

           

and send them off to outer space

07:11:17

           

but still

07:11:22

           

your pillow

07:11:25

           

is what you come back to

07:11:28

           

not your cat

07:11:32

           

Pillows

07:11:36

           

vicious pillows

07:11:43

           

vicious manipulative pillows.

07:11:45

           

oh well

07:11:49

           

too late to save you anyway

07:11:56

           

because you're asleep

07:12:01

           

and I can go on forever

you know

07:12:04

           

but I won't

07:12:13

           

(A)

07:12:18

           

You're free

And the reply was:

10:13:34

         

yel3an abo omm el fara3' dah!