Find A Way To Lie About A Home You’ll Never See

It’s when home changed to 'a home’. What a change an article can make. It’s when an imaginary vampire left a hickey on her neck. You’d think those go away with time, or ‘grow back’. They don’t. Except eye bags. Now They grow. Into eye suitcases. A locker a head, a bed a head. You get your own food. Visiting hours till 9, makes you think what happens if you got held up in traffic till 9:15. 7 phone numbers, and counting. None work. Anymore. Cabs work. Cars don’t, when owners can switch it to gear but are too short to reach the gas pedal. Clutch brake gas rest. Rest is out of reach. Home is out of boundaries. Not to siblings who choose hickeys over eye suitcases. Not to uncles who choose sprawling over sitting. After all he has a life. He has 5 lives. I guess it’s when the 5 turns into a 7 that the smile melts off into a clown’s grin and all the way into a growl. You boil a frog, it dies, and it doesn’t know what went wrong till it’s dead. Omelettes don’t stick to the pan, unless the heat is turned up. It’s when the Where and How questions are always answered in the negative form. It’s when all other questions fade. You can’t react. You’re not allowed to. Poker-faced. You can’t let anything through. Who do you think you are? You’re nothing, less than nothing. You don’t deserve a spot on the couch, let alone holding the remote control. You can make spaghetti. You have to. Because after all no ‘can's are left that haven’t already turned into ‘have to’s. You can’t afford a ‘can’. You don’t have to. “Men want men to ride with clouds between their knees.” Unless the clouds have to be bought for you. Clouds are not cheap you know. An extra lunch is not cheap, let alone two. It’s all about Maths you see. It gets disproportional when anomalous becomes the case with most. When an “I don’t know” answers stuff you should know and an “I don’t care” answer to home. A couple of the former to Wheres and Hows and some of the latter to Whats here and there. You walked away. You got scared and walked away. You were selfish and more of a coward than you thought you could be, then you have a why question you have to answer to. But if ‘can’s are ‘have to’s, doesn’t it follow that ‘have to’s are ‘can’s? There are a shit load of 'cannot’s, why can’t one be optional for once? But you can’t. All ‘can’s are ‘have to’s. All 'cannot’s are ‘should’s. You have to stand there and take it, because you can. Take ‘your kryptonite’ telling you how she managed to fall asleep the last couple of months. How is the keyword. It’s all about keywords. Nothing is ever ‘just because’ anymore. It’s a luxury you can’t afford. Paradoxically, you can afford deities. Deities with compulsive mosquito-squashing habits and unrealistic contracts with inflated profit percentages and unending rights ownership. I kill your parents and you love me. It’s for the best. If you kill yourself I will hate you. Only I get to kill you. We’ve got ourselves a contract, now sign. I don’t sign. I watch. Normal? What’s normal? Dystopian monotheistic creatures who’d die to die and kill to have the dead back, still they worship the sole theoretical causative. Why? Just because. You can afford that. Just that.

“Maybe there’s a God above, but all I’ve ever learned from love, was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya. And it’s not a cry that you hear at night, it’s not somebody who’s seen the light, it’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.”

Go Away.