But I Know.

Life Lesson #90: You know that sappy bumper sticker with “Everyone’s fighting their own secret battle” written on it? It’s not sappy. Well, yeah it is, but you know what I mean. No you don’t.

Life Lesson #91: Sometimes, you’re meant to be out of it. So you’re there when others are in it. That’s as far as “meant to be/have” goes as much as I’m concerned. Other than that, nothing happens for  a reason.

Life Lesson #92: Dina’s Farm Products are really good. The milk is wow, that cow knows what she’s doing.

Life Lesson #93: Good still exists, it’s just  anonymous, outnumbered and ultimately misunderstood. Sometimes it’s that little green bug that wouldn’t be shooed that stalls you long enough to see it coming. Sometimes it’s that guy on TV who wouldn’t stop talking about irrelevant crap that even he doesn’t give a flying fuck about so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the workings of your head for just two more hours. Sometimes it’s that really annoying song stuck in your head that gets you through the night. You never see it.

Life Lesson #94: I’m not sure what the hell that author from “The Secret” was thinking about introducing her theory of thinking stuff into existence because if you kid yourself long enough to actually lie to it and believe it, the universe will push it in your way to balance out the fucked signals you sent out into space and keep the Feng Shui of everyday life in alignment. So, all you do is sit around on your ass all day and keep saying “I have a Ferrari, I smell the leather seat, I see the shiny red paint, I can taste the first odour of fuel precipitating on the insides of my nose" and you wake up the next day to find that mommy earth PMSed all night to handle your tantrum and now there’s a red Ferrari on your doorstep. Why? Because you brought it around with your power of belief using the loophole of the ultimate and irrevocably automated balance of nature. I have never seen so much bullshit woven so intricately and so exorbitantly mass-marketed in my entire 17 years of pathetic existence. This is beyond retarded. It’s way past religious false promises and political schedules. I can’t even find a word for it. She was on crack, fucked a publisher and the bullshit sold itself since everyone is looking for anyone to lead them, even if it’s a horoscope or a stupid fortune cookie slip, because they just can’t handle the brain-frying process of ‘Thinking’. Or worse, ‘Acting’. She actually used weight loss as one of the examples. Can you fucking believe it? Why yes, I understand you’d want to. Just lay back and wish the fat away. Yeh, good luck with that. Luck is one of the forces anyway.

Life Lesson #95: Symbolic angles of Footage are pure surrealist art. You never see that either.

Life Lesson #96: That kid breaking my 3x3 Rubik’s cube the other day made me realise that I never started on my 5x5 one, not because I wasn’t ready for it, but because I was afraid I would fall from my one side every 2 min average. A 4-year-old bugger was my equivalent of ninja comics’ perspective man. I still hate kids though.

Life Lesson #97: You’ll do what you think is right. It doesn’t mean it’s right though. It never is.

Life Lesson #98: Quoted Script – The Kite Runner.

“Before you sacrifice yourself for him, think about this, Hazara: Would he do the same for you? Have you ever wondered why he only plays with you when no one else is around? I said, "Why," Hazara! Because, to him, you're nothing but an ugly pet. Something he can play with when he's bored. Something he can kick when he's angry.

Amir agha and I are friends.

Friends? You fool. Enough of this. Give us the kite. Last chance. As you wish. Keep it. So it will always remind you of what I'm about to do to you.

Nothing is free.”

Life Lesson #99: Raisins are mortified grapes.