Just Let Her Pee Already!

So i was standing at the window, like i always do when i end up not getting any sleep at night and after 9 hours of pure agony, and i accept the fact that i’m a zombie and watch the sun come up as i rest my head from pondering the various ways in which i screwed the dying day as i get my fix from whatever poison i choose at that moment; comforting myself by the fact that i’m contributing to the world by lessening its storage of that inanimate object, and muse my philanthropist spree with spacey, nonetheless misplaced, pleasure.  i can never quite get tired of the scene. i live in a quiet safe neighbourhood; one of these places that might have been the love child of a suburb in the outskirts of Vaucluse and a metropolis somewhere off the charts in NY.

Everyday, at exactly the same time, this old dude in beige uniform and snow white tufts of receding hair, walks his dog, a female Alano Español that looks like a housewife that’s been demoted by karma into a four-legged form. He has that way of walking, one you might expect of Frodo as he wears the cloak and ends up walking into a semi-permeable pissed ghost; just floating there, looking at everything and not necessarily seeing anything. And every single day, the poor dog sniffs and staggers at exactly the same spot as he stubbornly drags her along. And just like that, every single morning, i get the urge to scream out at him all godlike and holler-y from a high uncharted place to friggin let the dog pee where it wants to pee! It really likes that bush! Even ‘I’ can see that, someone who lives in the building all the way on the other side of the street on the second floor, and you’re the one holding her leash goddammit! Why do you have to make her so miserable? Could you have any idea how big peeing it is to her? That’s all dogs do, eat hump and pee, you’ve eliminated 1/3 of the cornerstones of her life. If you can take out the time to wake up early and go out of your way to walk your oh-so-beloved dog, you might wanna let it pee where it likes every once in a while, because, you know, that’s like, THE WHOLE POINT TO TAKING YOUR DOG OUT FOR A WALK YOU SICK CLUELESS BASTARD!