What’s This About? Why Don’t You Just Read The Damn Thing?

I just wanna lay around and do nothing for a couple of extra millennia. I have tons of stuff to get done that I should’ve been working on during the vacation, and even tho most of the time I had absolutely nothing better to do, I just didn’t do any of em. Not everything tho, I mean, I’m behind on schoolwork but for some reason I’m working on three piano pieces at once. Basta3bat much? I knoooow I know. Meh. You gotta lay back every once in a while anyway. We’re back in the rat race in a couple of days anyhow, and I have no intention to waste the only time I have off just to lower the acceleration with which I inevitably burn out next week. It’s happening anyway, might as well lick as much whipped cream off the cake. That doesn’t sound right.

On an unrelated note, I believe phonetics were invented by a pompous cretin because if discernible is pronounced di’surnubul, why don’t they just fucking write it as they say it? Last time I checked that was the whole point of written language.

Did I tell you how much I like smoked salmon? Well, I do. And it got me thinking – you know since no other fish has that tingy aftertaste than salmon – that maybe people taste different too; to cannibals I mean. Every, sort of, species of fish has a different taste to it, doesn’t it also apply that people taste differently according to race, persona, genes and lineage? Short people genes make you taste slightly richer than tall ones, or maybe  assholes are more of the type that’s way too smelly to eat. I dunno. I reckon I’d taste like sashimi sushi, I’d hate to be tuna. Could the meek ones be sort of like the fillet of the party, all spineless and bland? There’s gotta be some truth about giving someone a piece of your mind other than the actual resulting interaction. Well, you get the picture. Nah?

Oh bite me.

You know, according to the theory of evolution, in a couple of years to come with the amount of office hours and the decreasing hours of actual socializing, man is bound to grow an inflated butt and have a protective epidermis formed on their mouths for lack of usage. Maybe we’d grow extra fingers on typing demand, that’s how amphibians developed you know, you grow hind legs instead of em extra set of flippers. I wonder why we still have an appendix tho, it’s always been there but it’s almost like all the other organs forgot what the hell it’s supposed to be doing in the first place, sort of like a second earlobe. What’s the use of earlobes anyway, they couldn’t have possibly been installed there because you might have thought of piercing it with some shiny sharp object and keeping it there so that the wound doesn’t close up. You know, come to think of it, I’d like to see who the fuck was so commercially-oriented so early on in evolution that they’d go as far as jabbing a metal rod into an flesh extension twice to look slightly better. How could they have known it would even look better? Going out on a limb and punching a hole into a part of your body for accessorizing is just gory. It’s good they thought of it tho, I’d like to get three more on each ear, except that I could never keep a set of earrings for longer than a day. What’s the friggin point anyway? Maybe they even thought of the hole before thinking of earrings, and the earring thing started out when that masochistic prehistoric emo wanted to keep all the old wounds instead of re-opening em every couple of days and keep track of how many times they threw a fit. Rationalize it for me, will ya? If you currently have nothing better to do I’d like you to ‘give me a piece of your mind’ about what the hell the first dude/dudette who thought of piercing was thinking. Oh, and while you’re at it, maybe you can think of what they were thinking using coal millimetres from their absorbent eyeballs or of colouring their eyelashes blue with liquid that doesn’t wash out and makes em stick together and stand on end like pricks. I swear to everything holy – and tasty for that matter – that if you know how body language explains the use of lipstick to improve your outer allure you’ll be more conscious of it than that ketchup stain on your white cashmere cardigan.