Available.

You know the dude who said that you’d better start with yourself at stuff? That dude must have tried really hard trying to get people to do stuff but people didn’t listen because those people were trying to get other people to do stuff, and they were so busy at it because those other people were trying to get more people to do stuff in turn, which wasn’t working at all. That chain reaction of trying to get people to do stuff doesn’t work because even though the ears look like two holes into your head, it’s doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re listening, or that You’re listening. It’s quite similar in idea and aspect to trying to drink from your nose. You see, on paper, it makes sense. The nasal opening and the oesophagus meet at some point. Its making sense doesn’t mean it works though. That’s one of the reasons I like Maths and hate people. Maths is so much better, and when the answer is infinity, you tend to know it from the beginning of the equation by working out its value. It’s a simple yes or no, you know?

I wanna grow up. So bad. A lot of things will be easier. A lot of stuff will be harder too, including me, which is what I want most of all. But you know, at the expense of having the stuff I have in mind easier, I wouldn’t mind having worse stuff to handle for that to work made harder. I wouldn’t mind that at all.

I have school tomorrow, and it’s a Saturday, which means I can play piano! The piano room will be available. Available. It’s always there though, but it’s not available all the time. You may like to play the piano, but how do you know if the piano likes to be played by you as much? You get over that, and then you’re grateful for the days it’s available. It’s sad, in a way, but you stop caring about that. Well, not stop caring, but actually stop caring about caring or not. Which in turn means you stop. Point is, tomorrow’s a Saturday. Focusing on its being a Saturday, focusing that the Saturday will always be there and accepting that there’s only one Saturday a week.

Available is a horrid concept though.