Thursday, 20 January 2011

*Crickets*

Regardless of the fact that it took me exactly 74 minutes to muster up enough oomph to get out of bed, it felt good to sleep after two days, on the clock, sleepless. God it felt good. This is dope. I’ve been sleeping for 10 hours. 10 HOURS PEOPLE! I demand a standing ovation! That’s double my usual sleeping hour quota on a good day.

By the power vested in my by the rush of coffee in my veins and molten gebna roomy in my mouth, today is gonna be a good day. There are always two ways to look at stuff you know, Imma put on one of em funky 70’s glasses and make sure I see everything the right side up today. Or not, whatever makes it look better.

I dreamt that I got shot. – Dreaming is good.

I slept for too long and now I don’t have enough time to study for both of my finals and am gonna have to wing one. I haven’t slept that well since the 4th of Jan. – Sleeping is good.

I snapped at people for no reason at all and made an ass out of myself because I was pissed. And it felt good. – Catharsis is good.

I had a fight with a friend. I spent 7 minutes making her feel like shit. It was the right thing to do. – Shutting people up when it’s due is good.

I’m hungry and there’s nothing in the fridge. – Molten gebna roomy smells awesome.

I lashed out at 5 people yesterday. Most of them are now giving me the silent treatment and those who aren’t called to settle the debts. I’m actually enjoying it. People should shut up more often. – Silence is good.

I’m not gonna write the other stuff. Shoo.

idontthinkhedoesitonpurpose

Monday, 17 January 2011

W Ba3dein?

Isn’t it ironic that I missed an exam because I pulled an all-nighter studying for it?

Isn’t it even more ironic that I’m about to do the exact same thing? Again?

Isn’t is funny how I don’t give a fuck anymore but am still gonna study my ass off because that’s the right thing to do?

Thursday, 13 January 2011

It’s A Sad Sad Situation, And It’s Getting More And More Absurd.

Why do people do stuff? To get satisfaction. Why do people do stuff if they’re satisfied? To get more satisfaction. Why do people do stuff if they can’t get any satisfaction out of it? Because they think that if they try harder they’ll get it. What happens when people are completely and utterly satisfied? They stop working.

So it’s safe to say that a functional individual doesn’t feed off of satisfaction? A functional individual is ultimately a robot. You work because..you just work. You work to work.

No.

You work to sleep better at night.

You work to actually get any sleep at all.

Due to the ongoing anal rape I’ve been undergoing because of the accumulating overdue work that I’ve ultimately had to deal with because I was sick last week and missed class, I’ve come to the revelation that work actually makes you sleep better at night. Not in the manner that you get satisfaction so you sleep with a clear conscience. Haha, no. It knocks you out cold. You work hard enough and you don’t have to worry about the stuff you keep thinking over before going to bed simply because you just pass out as soon as you’re in the vicinity of a flat surface. Side effects might include you snapping out at the average Joes that roam that exact same vicinity. It’s funny really. Everything seems to work itself out as soon as you stop trying to work it out yourself. I never thought I’d live long enough to hear myself saying that last sentence. I’ve always had a certain God complex that led me to try and control everything all the time, and believe with every fibre of my being that I can get anything around me to work just the way I want it to with enough work put into it. I still do believe that, to a certain extent. However, for that to happen, the things involved have to be 1) Objects. 2) People that are putting forward an equal amount of effort. Luckily for my career – since the latter don’t exist – books are categorized as objects and I’m still nuts.

Pros to overworking yourself might or might not include:

  1. Sleeping.

  2. Snapping at assholes.

  3. Sleeping some more.

  4. Snapping at more assholes.

  5. Getting over heartache, psychological angst and whatever human derails you might have conjured up simply because work turns you into a robot that has no feelings, or rather has absolutely no time for aforementioned feelings.

  6. Burning Calories. That’s also called burning out, but whatever floats your boat.

  7. Better career opportunities. Yes, I actually just wrote that.

  8. Less time on your hands to actually live and make impulsive mistakes that happen because you’re a no-thinking train wreck entirely made of gut.

  9. You’re no longer an active Hikikomori, but then again you’re no longer an active anything.

iamtoocoldtowork

Friday, 7 January 2011

Ana Kbeeeeeeeera!

I’m big.

I’m huge.

I’m a giant.

I’m invincible.

I own the whole goddamn world.

Ana kbeera fash5. Ezzay ana kbeera keda.

I’m old enough to drive in Egypt and to do drugs in Holland.

I’m an Adult.

Ana ‘KBEEERA’!

I’m no longer the kid nobody listens to.

I’m old enough to do a lot of things and get away with it.

I’m humongous!

I’m 18.

I’m old enough to hit on older guys and not get the “I’m sorry, but I’m not a pedo” line.

The world WILL stop and listen to me when I say this:

‘ANA KBEERA!’

And it will go Aww.

That’s when I’ll hire people to kill them.

Because I’m old and I can.

Drop everything you’re doing and listen carefully, because I’m big now.

I’m a member of the tall serious beings association, whether they like it or not.

The government thinks I’m old enough that it can put and ID card, a driver’s licence, a cigarette and a bottle of wine in my hands all in the same year.

The government thinks I’m superman.

I’m awesome.

I’m Kbeera.

imadeawishanditcametrue

Monday, 3 January 2011

Are You Hearing What I’m Hearing?

Apparently I was running a little more temperature than within the norm, and I gotta say man, this shit is dope. I’ve never slept so much. I think I fell asleep about five times today, last of these I was asleep and had the laptop and cell phone piled up with all the books and stuff on the bedside table then I got woken up by something. I was not able to identify what it is. At that time, it took a while to tag it as ‘sound’ and a little more energy than would normally be required for that realization to evolve from ‘sound’ into ‘music'. Something is playing music. Now you see, make note of the fact that I wasn’t all up there, or maybe too much of me shot up there would make a better metaphor. So, following what seemed logical at the time, I thought the best thing to do would be to bang on my laptop keyboard. Not turn it on, not wake it up, not turn it off, no. Bang on its keyboard. Somehow the banging and fingering got the laptop on and I could still hear the music. What the hell was I thinking? Laptops don’t make music when they’re turned off, and if it had been sleeping the banging woulda definitely woken it up. That infernal tune was still there! Some time later, I was like “waaaait a second..”, used the laptop screen light and utilized the recently acquired conclusion after a belated ‘aha’ moment that there’s this invention called ‘cell phone’, that this extraterrestrial music was ‘ringing’ and that inebriated retard on one side of the call was me. That took a while to figure out too, since I couldn’t quite locate who was speaking in the dark. Hint? There was nobody else in the house.

Damn I was high.

Colds are awesome. I’m getting more sleep, a three-day break from all the work – not that I actually have a choice I couldn’t quite function when I kept passing out like a dog on mushrooms and shivering in front of the heater with more vibrating momentum than dad’s sacred electric latte/cappuccino whisk – I’m not eating so that’s a great diet, I’m not tasting anything anyway so I don’t mind not eating, hell, I’m not even thinking. This is awesome. You just hibernate for a couple of days. The only downside to the whole package is that I can’t taste coffee. My precious precious morning coffee tastes slightly different than the boiled water that my mom used to boil the corn. So that’s no coffee too, for these whole three days of rehabilitation. And the nutty part is, wait for it, I DON’T EVEN MIND THAT ANYMORE! Can you believe that?

No wait, what the hell am I saying? That can’t be right, it just can’t be right. I must be running a temperature again.

Let’s rewind that last sentence again and see where the fuse went off, shall we?

…precious morning coffee tastes slightly different than the boiled water that my mom used to boil the corn. So that’s no coffee too, for these whole three days of rehabilitation. And the nutty part is, wait for it, I DON’T EVEN MIND THAT ANYMORE! Can you believe that?  And it’s driving me crazy! My taste buds are activated by caffeine, how the hell are they gonna be of any use now?

Now that’s more like it.

rocketsurfboardonacoffeeocean

Friday, 31 December 2010

Of Apartment Amblers And Quite A Gutsy Finch.

What do people do when they’re blogger blocked?

They start rambling about every single thing that might or might not be considered an actual thing. I’ll save you the drill of telling you how much I’ve got to get down before today’s trial examination and all that shit. If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you’ll know that being sleepless, caffeinated and the proud owner of a serious itch to get one’s nerd on, as a friend puts it, is rather a postulated surmise around here. If there’s a blog post on your dashboard, odds are it’s been written at an ungodly hour of night when I’ve gone through the whole psyche alteration cycle a couple of times over, given up on the fact of trying to function as an individual and eventually resorted to the much soothingly unrequited ranting to a very tolerant patch of good ole cyber space.

I tried to catch some eye shut and after a couple of failed trials, I decided Imma head off and call it a night. I grabbed my book from the bedside table and stomped to the door. Walking the hallway, I found the housemaid cleaning up, said good morning and continued with my trance. Halfway to the couch, I found an unidentified face pacing from room to room. A lady. I wasn’t quite sure if she was a figment of my imagination or an actual living stranger in our premises, so I ended up in the living room, with a face that sent my mom and dad on a hysterical laughing fit as I stopped in my tracks pointing at the room with the moving entity and saying: ‘And Who the hell is she again?’ My mom elaborated that she’s the new housemaid, then she wondered what I said to her when I found a complete stranger strolling down our apartment.

‘I said Good Morning’.

dinosaursareeverywhere

I just had my fifth coffee of the day. And I mean day in the mathematical sense rather than the humane one, since I haven’t slept in almost 18 hours. I’m sitting in the balcony listening to the jumbled and rather confused – which, for the record, I spelled ‘confusioned’ a couple of seconds ago and backspaced – oomph of cars as they gear up for another round of the clock. A bird, wild finch, just came and checked me out. Pretty gutsy for a creature that’s about One twentieth my size.

This is going nowhere.

But then again it doesn’t have to.

I Guess It’s Just Another Day, In Liiiiiiiiiiife.

ishouldprobablyclosemywindows

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

What You Say!

How Did It Come To This?

Life Lesson #170: I know your body’s like a cloud, floating around the softer side of things you know. You’re in love with an Igor who’s in love with a placid penguin.

itsnotgoingtolastforever

Monday, 27 December 2010

4 Days Left

I’m sipping hot cocoa in the balcony with the lights off with nothing but music on. No people, no thinking. Nothing. Just this. Just now. It feels good. I don’t wanna think. If I turn the music off I’ll start thinking about how this year has been and how I might like the next one to be. I don’t want that. I’ve got loads to work on tonight, I overslept and missed class, and woke up with slightly inebriated from yesterday’s headache. Not now, in a bit. Now’s nothing time.

areyoustilllistening

4 days left.

Friday, 24 December 2010

Of Marshies And Ugg Boots.

It’s infuriating that it’s Christmas eve and there’s not goddamn concert or Christmas event anywhere, and the ones that are suck ass. Eskenderella? Seriously? Yeah, sure, there’s one on the 29th, but Christmas eve is not the 29th now, is it? Not only is there no event today, but I’m gonna have to miss the Nutcracker ballet suite on the 29th because mom and dad have appointments at work.

No, Today will NOT start off on the wrong leg, nothing beats a little Christmas shopping. The tree is a few ornaments short, and I gotta buy marshmallows and cocoa, because it’s just not right without hot cocoa and marshies. Maybe I’ll buy ugg boots and call it a day. Am I running a fever? What the hell am I saying? I actually started liking em. Do I get em red or black? Omg, someone shoot me now..

Come to think of it, I’ve never actually got boots. I was always too short for it to be a valid option. My dad keeps saying “hayeb2a nossek gazma”, and come to think of it, well, yes that’s true. Midgets and boots make posh gnomes tho.

Coldplay’s new album is nowhere to be seen. No word on its release yet, could it possibly be delayed? That can’t happen. A friend pointed out – much to my excessive and incessant nagging about the album – that I just might be prepping myself for disappointment. So I’ll just shut up about that and keep my fingers crossed..AND check on it first thing when the clock strikes 12. Yeh, that oughta do. W mesh hazaker neela 7aga enaharda! Exams or not!

ireallylikeyourshoes

Monday, 20 December 2010

Etymology. I Don’t Know, I Just Wanted to Say That.

December is proving itself to be the dust bunny that almost choked you when  you tried to hug it. It’s still my favourite month tho. It’s when Coldplay’s new album comes out and you can drink scalding hot cocoa all snuggled up in bed feeling like a hobo. Gotta love hobos.

I just realized that 80% of my blogging experience is after hours. Well, I was sleeping, like normal human beings when my inner nocturnal slipped out of its dormant state and poked at me, so I randomly woke up at 2 am saying ‘I want that red topcoat.’ Annoying bit is that I don’t even remember if I slept or not and I don’t have any dreams to prove it! Frick.

So anywho, I was thinking how stuff can work out in a way you don’t expect em to. For what it’s worth, I don’t really believe in that at all, which is why it’s odd enough for me to blog about it when I could be using my spare time doing other constructive stuff like studying chemistry.. HAHAHAHA, okay no not really. I could be picking on em unsuspecting dweebs lingering around FB  chat – which is, for the record, one scary place – or watching the water boil in the water heater as I make my sacred coffee portion of the day, or have pickled lemons. At all. I’ve always thought it’s man’s way of rationalizing stuff out of their area of control to try and pull it back in there; because if you can make sense of bad stuff in a way that pleases you, then they’re to your advantage and you’re back behind the steering wheel; which is just another subtle way of being a control freak. Back to the point. No harm in some guilty pleasure, eh?

 

completelyunnecessary 

  1. I’ve just realized that not knowing my way around twitter could and ultimately would improve my goldfish memory, since I can't figure out which replies link back to what and how to get there let alone reply. I mean, what the hell, if replying to someone’s post shows up on your wall, how the fuck is the other person supposed to see it unless they’d been coincidentally stalking you ? Or is the Twitter R&D team that bourgeoisie that it doesn’t quiiiiiiiiite acknowledge communicating with ‘followers’?

  2. Temporarily losing the use of your palate over blisteringly hot and cheesy margarita pizza makes your taste bud memory, if there exists any, stuck on loop to the day you went  out for pizza with friends for a week. It also you makes your creativity go wild with drinks/soups/anything that is ingested through sipping, because believe it or not, your palate has a huge role in biting stuff. Not to mention that it also leads to the life-changing realization that everything tastes better with Mayo.

  3. Running out of Coffee makes you go for tea, and you know, it’s not that bad after all. It’s like this nice fellow you go for when your badass mate is outta town. And yes, I capitalised the C in Coffee and not the T in tea. I’m loyal, sue me.

  4. Bad Haircuts. Nothing feels better than having a photo of someone you really wanna punch in the face with a bad haircut. Ah, the sheer soothing potential of it. It’s like a metaphorical ego massage man. And having one of you could make someone you really pissed off feel better, and that someone might just have been Jack The Ripper in another life. Who knows..

  5. Not being able to think of one more thing could make you a little more accepting of even numbers. Or you could turn it around like I just did. Can’t risk the jinx.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

I Am A Mirror A Mirror Am I

So I ditched the Paulo Coelho’s drone of a book and am back to my love-hate relationship with Gregory Maguire. If I ever had to name one book that I didn't stand yet couldn’t stop reading, it would inevitably be “Wicked”. My first impression of the book was that that author did not have enough creative material that he had to make it an art out of extracting the magic from every last fold of the beautiful Oz, chiselling an artwork out of its hard precipitate by taking another artist’s work of art and giving it dimensions of his own. However, curiosity made me wonder how far he took it, and that’s probably what the writer depended on to give the book sales a controversial thrust, L. Frank Baum’s celebrity and the sensation “The Wizard of Oz” caused at its time. I couldn’t help noticing three things about how the book is written.

designersblock

Firstly, the dimensions he set to the book, the moral, political and fictitious dimensions were not very intact. At one point, two dimensions would merge and leave out the third, and then the third would get brought up, and you could get a sense of caricaturised politics in the book. He’s misleading at that too. Gregory Maguire characterized the essence of Nazism, the ongoing controversies among beliefs, discrimination against colour and sex in a way that it is just obvious enough not to be taken too seriously, but get you just where he wants you to be for whatever plot twist he has in mind.

Secondly, he didn’t use what most writers do with protagonists. Authors tend to make you like or hate the main character, according to the plot in question, to gain the reader’s emotional stamp of approval that comes when you get to actually pin em as the “good guy” or the “bad guy” and hence overcome the moral “Spelling check”. Nevertheless, with that little side door, all he did was make you relate to Elphaba, on a more instinctively logical level. Still, I think he used the fact that she strived to defend animal rights to justify her own humanity without meaning to, and to highlight her sense of retaliating to the injustice with which she’d been treated throughout her life by the ferocity of her defence of those defenceless creatures.

Thirdly, a certain air of morbid injustice was held unwaveringly throughout the book, in a sense like the old saying: “The end justifies the means”. He pushed boundaries with his attempt to re-define good and evil. As a consequence, instead of trying to set the constant villain-hero scale, he kept the characters, especially Elphaba’s, rather volatile. Despite the fact that the book sales were elbowed into celebrity, I’d say it was its mystic cleverness that kept it going. Almost a year later and I’m nostalgic for another one of his maimed fairytales. I’m on ‘Mirror Mirror’, his alteration of Snow White And The Seven Dwarves. At the very beginning of the book, there’s a long poem, with no two lines adding up at all. I had my theories that they’re not the same person talking, even tho every line begins with I, as a sort of dream-like cloud of tags. Then throughout the book, a line of that poem starts another mini one, where, as it seems to me, he depicts every character in the book. I’m not that far into it, and I’ve always been bad with poems to be frank, but the one epitomising the dwarf grew on me, or that’s how I got it at least. The author has rather a perverse nature tho, interestingly perverse. He can sell anything to you if you’re open enough, and there’s hardly anything he hasn’t picked at more or less.

‘I’m a rock whose hands have appetites.

I’m a rock whose appetites have hands.

I’m a thing unresolved into courteous shapeliness.

I’m a creature excluded from limbo and hell,

A thing of which heaven prefers to stay well unaware.

Neither pet, nor beast of the fields, or beast of the woods,

Nor idiot kept, more or less, in the warmth of the hearth,

For the sometime amusement of humans and sarcastic angels.

Nothing exists but it rests on my, at the start,

At the end; but I keep to myself, as no one will have me.’

Making Your Way Back Home Thinking Oh No.

everyoneyouknowwill

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Of A Constant That Will Turn.

Life Lesson #161: ‘No eleventh hour reprieve. Keep your head above water, but don’t forget to breathe.’

yourestillinit

Life Lesson #162: Ultimatums work if you’re a suicide bomber. Otherwise you’re just a little bugger flailing your arms in the middle of some department store that everybody’s gonna forget about over their TV dinner 7 minutes later. They even get to call themselves heroes because of it. They will, however, continue munching ‘heroically’ as you rot in a cell that smells like pickles.

Life Lesson #163: Muffins are bold cupcakes. It takes dough to go out without all that icing.

Life Lesson #164: No matter how many lessons you studiously pile up, you’ve still got a lot to learn kiddo, haven’t you?

Life Lesson #165: Take One: When all else fails; you’ve probably been trying too hard for anything to work.

Life Lesson #166: Take Two: When all else fails, you probably just need to tell it like it is.

Life Lesson #167: Take Three: Or you could just have a pickle. Pickles are nice.

Life Lesson #168: This goes out to Cee Lo Green: How could there be footprints on the ceiling again?

Life Lesson #169: It’s so cold I can feel the tip of my nose freezing, but then again I could never have felt the tip of my nose any other way.

But Time..Is On Your Side..It’s On Your Siiiiiiiiiiiide Nahoooow.

Do you know when you get so frustrated doing something that you start thinking about parallel abstract equivalents to pat the ego bump? I’ve been working on the same Maths sheet all day, and I’m not done yet. I’ve even missed Arabic class because I’d rather do Maths and because, well, who the fuck cares about Arabic class? It’s almost irrelevant. The dude just stands there and reads what we already have in the binders. We can read too, you know. Anywho, so I got frustrated with logarithms and started thinking that maybe the only reason I like Maths is because it’s one of the few things I haven’t already conquered, as egotistical as that sounds at the back of my head. There’s always a little more to know about it and you could never quite get the hang of it, it’s almost humbling how it accentuates your insignificance with just another couple of signs. Then I started thinking, maybe all I actually like about Maths is the challenge, like everything, and come to think of it, everyone, in my life. You know when you’re after something just because you just can’t get your arms around the fact that you might not be able to do it, and drop it as soon as you unlock whatever riddle it offers? In simpler words, maybe I’m the bedazzled dude and Maths is the hard-to-get chick.

And by God I’m getting that chick no matter what. I don’t care how long it takes. I’m a spoiled little stubborn brat who’s used to getting her way. Bring it on, Maths sheet. You think you’re so hot? Drop-dead gorgeous much? Mesh 3lya ya mama.

Ok I might have got a wee bit too emotional there.

*Looks to Maths sheet* I’m onto you.

givemeaname

December has been quite..what’s the word for it. Tempestuous? Nah. Maybe just a little too Beethoven-y for my taste; going all smooth then bursting out in symphonic epic harmonies that almost seem like they’re meant for you to go deaf in some karmic settling of scores. 2010 seems to have ‘catching up on some soul-reaping’ on its to-do list. Trying to go out with a bang, eh?

It’s still slow tho. It still has the ‘I-won’t-rush-if-my-life-depended-on-it’ feel, which after all metaphorically makes sense in a way. It is the last month of the year, innit?

2011 is an odd number. I like odd numbers. 2009 was an odd number tho. I hate odd numbers. 2010’s been even, a compromise, a package of pulsating aftermaths. I detest even numbers.

And cookies are awesome.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

My Grandma Eloped?

ihittheroadlastnight

So we couldn’t find my grandma this morning. Yeh. Apparently she wandered off into the sandstorm, and since she doesn’t believe in the use of cell phones as a tracking device, we kept calling up everybody directly related and indirectly attached to locate her. As a chilling exercise, I passed the time by pondering the sarcastic use of the phrase ‘we lost your Grandma’. We found her 3 hours later shopping for Christmas. Let me make this crystal clear for you in case you’re slow: My Grandmother willingly walked out of the door into a sandstorm, giving up the warmth of a nice sweater and a cup of tea in a weather as inhumanely menayyel as this to get me a Christmas present. Oh would you just fucking kill me now?

El sana deeeh lazem te-fucking-te5las 3la fekra.

Saturday, 11 December 2010