Life Lesson #161: ‘No eleventh hour reprieve. Keep your head above water, but don’t forget to breathe.’
Life Lesson #162: Ultimatums work if you’re a suicide bomber. Otherwise you’re just a little bugger flailing your arms in the middle of some department store that everybody’s gonna forget about over their TV dinner 7 minutes later. They even get to call themselves heroes because of it. They will, however, continue munching ‘heroically’ as you rot in a cell that smells like pickles.
Life Lesson #163: Muffins are bold cupcakes. It takes dough to go out without all that icing.
Life Lesson #164: No matter how many lessons you studiously pile up, you’ve still got a lot to learn kiddo, haven’t you?
Life Lesson #165: Take One: When all else fails; you’ve probably been trying too hard for anything to work.
Life Lesson #166: Take Two: When all else fails, you probably just need to tell it like it is.
Life Lesson #167: Take Three: Or you could just have a pickle. Pickles are nice.
Life Lesson #168: This goes out to Cee Lo Green: How could there be footprints on the ceiling again?
Life Lesson #169: It’s so cold I can feel the tip of my nose freezing, but then again I could never have felt the tip of my nose any other way.
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