Saturday, 10 July 2010

6:32 – 7:12

05:50:33

           

I

05:50:33

           

can't

05:50:34

           

fucking

05:50:35

           

sleep

05:50:39

           

FUCK!

06:32:56

           

Wow.

06:33:00

           

You’re still awake.

06:33:39

           

or are you

06:33:41

           

hmm

06:33:47

           

God I love bugging you

06:33:48

           

^^

06:33:52

           

GO TO SLEEP

06:33:56

           

DON'T BE NUTS LIKE ME!

06:34:06

           

sleep

06:34:08

           

pillows

06:34:10

           

fairies

06:34:16

           

cold pillows

06:34:27

           

Fluffy cold pillows

06:34:36

           

soft fluffy cold pillows

06:34:47

           

Pillows saying come

and squash me

06:34:51

           

pillows

06:35:00

           

nope

06:35:03

           

you're not awake

06:35:09

           

I'm talking to thin air

06:35:14

           

which I'll just go on doing

06:35:22

           

since I've updated my blog

with utter nonsense

06:35:53

           

and found out that 2 other

people ended up updating

their blogs at 4 am with utter

nonsense even though they

were both online and could

have easily chatted

06:35:58

           

pillows

06:36:06

           

Did I tell you how pillows

don't like me?

06:36:14

           

And how I’m officially insane

after 4?

06:36:16

           

hm

06:36:18

           

Guess not

06:36:22

           

well guess what

06:36:25

           

it's after 4

06:36:32

           

Pillows

06:36:37

           

you're not awake

06:36:41

           

you're awake

06:36:43

           

you're not awake

06:36:46

           

you're awake

06:36:48

           

no you're not

06:36:49

           

are you

06:36:51

           

hmm

06:36:52

           

no you're not

06:36:56

           

still though

06:36:59

           

this is entertaining

06:37:05

           

very

06:37:13

           

Did I tell you I do that

to people?

06:37:16

           

Every day?

06:37:22

           

I chase them off the msn

list

06:37:23

           

one

06:37:24

           

by

06:37:25

           

one

06:37:29

           

mwahahahahaha (6)

06:37:35

           

Unpredictable?

06:37:36

           

well

06:37:39

           

nuts

06:37:40

           

yes

06:37:44

           

fun>

06:37:46

           

hell yes

06:37:59

           

never mind the fact that I

wrote hess yel and backspaced

06:38:01

           

oh yeah

06:38:04

           

I"m sleepy

06:38:08

           

but I can't sleep

06:38:10

           

I wonder why

06:38:13

           

maybe the coffeee

06:38:18

           

maybe because I"m nuts

06:38:19

           

well

06:38:25

           

I got that covered in the

blog post

06:38:26

           

moving on

06:38:28

           

to buggin you

06:38:35

           

because I like doing that to people

06:38:48

           

and because I have another two

on my list that i want

to chase off into oblivion

06:38:51

           

Pillows

06:38:55

           

don't you just love pillows?

06:38:59

           

and msn alert

06:39:01

           

sounding

06:39:02

           

beep

06:39:03

           

beep

06:39:12

           

but not if you have your

speakers on mute eh?

06:39:15

           

sneaky

06:39:16

           

well

06:39:22

           

that flashing thingie bugs too

06:39:26

           

but not if you're asleep

06:39:28

           

which you are

06:39:32

           

sleep

06:39:35

           

i miss that

06:39:37

           

pillows

06:39:40

           

they're not nice

06:39:43

           

they're vicious

06:39:49

           

they eat your head when

you're not looking

06:39:52

           

they're soft

06:39:53

           

and fluffy

06:39:59

           

but they're vicious

06:40:03

           

pillows

06:40:10

           

creative eh?

06:40:11

           

no

06:40:14

           

not creative

06:40:15

           

nuts

06:40:18

           

and friggin bored

06:40:22

           

and not being able ot sleep

06:40:26

           

after two hours of trying

06:40:31

           

that bugs you know

06:40:39

           

not being able to fall asleep

06:40:43

           

but you're not awake

06:40:46

           

how would you know

06:40:49

           

ahh

06:40:51

           

pillows

06:41:01

           

and facebook homepage

06:41:04

           

flooded with pics

06:41:06

           

of sunglasses

06:41:09

           

bikinis

06:41:14

           

and just mumbo jumbo

06:41:24

           

a lot are online you know

06:41:29

           

just they don't show it

06:41:40

           

because there's this little

bugger living on msn

06:41:47

           

that drives everyone nuts

06:41:48

           

yes

06:41:49

           

that's me

06:41:53

           

(A)

06:41:55

           

why hello there

06:41:59

           

pillows say hi

06:42:03

           

cushions say hi too

06:42:06

           

but not like pillows

06:42:16

           

pillows are soft and fluffy

06:42:26

           

and get you sleepy

if you're human

06:42:28

           

are you human

06:42:29

           

well

06:42:30

           

you are

06:42:34

           

because you're not awake

06:42:36

           

you're asleep

06:42:39

           

you're snoozing

06:42:41

           

you're ZZing

06:42:52

           

you're off to the horizon

06:42:55

           

Pillows

06:42:58

           

oh them pillows

06:43:04

           

yep

06:43:13

           

no one can handle the

bugging that long

06:43:16

           

you're sleeping

06:43:17

           

or dead

06:43:21

           

I'll go with sleeping

06:43:32

           

because no one dies on their

available status

06:43:39

           

because it changes to away

in a few seconds

06:43:45

           

so you're sleeping

06:43:49

           

you've just fallen asleep

06:43:50

           

or maybe

06:43:52

           

just maybe

06:44:00

           

you're a ghost

06:44:01

           

haha

06:44:02

           

god

06:44:07

           

I'm not drunk

06:44:14

           

or you woulda seen typos

06:44:18

           

I'm not making typos

06:44:21

           

I just go nuts

06:44:23

           

after 4

06:44:26

           

you never saw that though

06:44:28

           

because you slept

06:44:31

           

like good boys

06:44:35

           

go sleep

06:44:40

           

pillows call

06:44:47

           

float to bed oh little one

06:44:56

           

let them ZZs guide you there

06:45:00

           

but then again

06:45:03

           

you're already asleep

06:45:08

           

so that's pointless

06:45:12

           

why should I stop though

06:45:17

           

when I'm having so much fun

06:45:21

           

beats blogging

06:45:25

           

blogging doesn't have a face

06:45:28

           

you have a face

06:45:40

           

even though pillows eat

off faces you know

06:45:45

           

that's why I don't like them

06:45:48

           

and they don't like me

06:45:51

           

pillows don't like me

06:45:54

           

and clocks hate me

06:45:59

           

but pillows jsut don't llike me

06:46:04

           

it's good though

06:46:11

           

i don't have to meet up with

them that much

06:46:13

           

Right

06:46:21

           

so you're either not human

or you're asleep

06:46:27

           

but I'm guessing you're both

06:46:38

           

so I'll jsut go on and on

06:46:39

           

on

06:46:39

           

and

06:46:40

           

on

06:46:41

           

and

06:46:42

           

on

06:46:42

           

and

06:46:43

           

on

06:46:44

           

and

06:46:45

           

on

06:46:46

           

and

06:46:46

           

on

06:46:51

           

till pillows talk

06:46:53

           

and say they like me

06:46:58

           

so I'd go to sleep

06:47:26

           

because I'm tired of reading

and solving a Rubik's cube

that has been next to my

bed for a while

06:47:27

           

well

06:47:29

           

some while

06:47:31

           

a long while

06:47:35

           

and that other one

06:47:37

           

that scary one

06:47:41

           

that 5x5 one

06:47:45

           

staring right back at me

06:47:50

           

with all its perfection

06:47:55

           

and squareness

06:48:04

           

and well, just, intimidating

the fuck out of me

06:48:08

           

so I won't start on it

06:48:17

           

I'll just hang on to me

baby 3 x 3 one

06:48:21

           

that I"ve been on for a year now

06:48:29

           

ha them pillows

06:48:37

           

pillows don't like rubik's cube

you know

06:48:42

           

because pillows don't like me

06:48:47

           

and I like rubik's cube

06:48:54

           

so pillows don't like rubik's cube

06:48:58

           

nothing personal though

06:49:01

           

pillows

06:49:03

           

you know

06:49:10

           

you know what pillows like?

06:49:13

           

huh

06:49:14

           

huh

06:49:16

           

?

06:49:17

           

well

06:49:19

           

I wouldn't know

06:49:23

           

because I don't like pillows

06:49:27

           

and they don't like me back

06:49:31

           

go to sleep

06:49:37

           

so you don't wind up like me

06:49:45

           

yalla

06:49:48

           

you'll go nuts

06:49:51

           

you don't wanna go nuts

06:50:03

           

or pillows won't like you

06:50:11

           

pillows don't like people

who are nuts

06:50:19

           

because I'm nuts

06:50:23

           

and pillows don't like me

06:50:28

           

serious

06:50:31

           

hmm

06:50:34

           

what else

06:50:36

           

ah

06:50:45

           

pillows LOVE re--runs

06:50:48

           

because I don't like em

06:50:55

           

but they keep me awake

anyhow

06:50:59

           

god I'm tired of typing

06:51:00

           

well

06:51:04

           

there's another solution

06:51:07

           

you could block me

06:51:08

           

YAY!

06:51:12

           

salvation

06:51:25

           

but then again I'd just

move on to the other two

on my playlist

06:51:35

           

because pillows like them

06:51:38

           

and I don't like pillows

06:51:48

           

I think you know that by now

06:51:54

           

do pillows like you?

06:51:55

           

well

06:51:58

           

I'd say they do

06:52:02

           

because you're not awake

06:52:04

           

you're asleep

06:52:10

           

you're not even reading this

06:52:21

           

It's still entertaining though

06:52:24

           

typing practise

06:52:30

           

will look good on my CV

06:52:40

           

pushing my 35 words

per minute right up

to 60

06:52:42

           

well

06:52:45

           

that happens

06:52:52

           

because I use all of my

ten fingers

06:53:03

           

people type faster with two

and looking at the keyboard

06:53:09

           

which is mind-boggling

06:53:14

           

since ten > 1

06:53:18

           

so,

06:53:20

           

using logic

06:53:24

           

it would be faster

06:53:26

           

aha

06:53:29

           

you're not awake

06:53:35

           

ah

06:53:44

           

no patience exceeds the

humane limit

06:53:44

           

well

06:53:49

           

I'm glad you're asleep

06:53:53

           

but I'm having fun

06:53:59

           

woulda written another blog post

06:54:02

           

naaaaaaah

06:54:29

           

why advertise my nuttiness when

I could use it up as reserve as

I drive people nuts,

one by one every night

06:54:32

           

they change you know

06:54:37

           

they're not the same every night

06:54:39

           

like now

06:54:41

           

I have 3

06:54:44

           

including you

06:54:45

           

last night

06:54:48

           

were 5

06:54:58

           

not even including tonight's 3

06:55:10

           

nightowl-iness is,.. what's

the word

06:55:12

           

can't remember

06:55:16

           

oh whatever

06:55:30

           

you know what hates

nightowl-iness?

06:55:33

           

Pillows.

06:55:37

           

The vicious pillows

06:55:42

           

the ones that bite your head off

06:55:54

           

stand in the way of your ears

06:55:57

           

pillows

06:56:01

           

they look friendly

06:56:03

           

but they're not

06:56:06

           

they're enemies

06:56:09

           

they're aliens

06:56:13

           

they're undercover spies

06:56:18

           

they're ETs!

06:56:23

           

they record your brain waves

06:56:28

           

and send them off

06:56:35

           

to make experiments

06:56:44

           

record the thoughts of the

human race

06:56:52

           

and come up with a diabolic

plan

06:56:57

           

after reading everyone's minds

06:57:05

           

and destroying the world!

06:57:14

           

wouldn't work with you if

you're apathetic

06:57:19

           

what the fuck does the world

matter

06:57:20

           

well

06:57:25

           

they don't do that just yet

06:57:29

           

they torture you first

06:57:35

           

they distort your brain waves

06:57:41

           

sending you off having

sleepless nights

06:57:44

           

just like me

06:57:47

           

and headaches

06:57:50

           

and neckache

06:57:54

           

oh them pillows

06:58:01

           

they bend in so many ways

06:58:17

           

for no other reason than to

ache your neck

06:58:29

           

short mind reading abilities

you say?

06:58:30

           

no

06:58:32

           

nonononono

06:58:33

           

pillows

06:58:36

           

they're vicious

06:58:46

           

they pick up brain waves

if you're in the vicinity

06:58:51

           

even in the same room

06:58:55

           

they lure you in

06:58:57

           

from afar

06:59:06

           

with all their softness

and fluffiness

06:59:10

           

so you'd come

06:59:15

           

just like the prey you are

06:59:18

           

and lay your head

06:59:26

           

enjoying how cold they are

on a hot night

06:59:28

           

then

06:59:31

           

Just then

06:59:36

           

when you're most vulnerable

06:59:42

           

they evacuate your thoughts

06:59:45

           

suck em in

06:59:50

           

and send em off to outer space

06:59:54

           

where they are coded

06:59:57

           

analyzed

07:00:00

           

recorded

07:00:02

           

experimented

07:00:05

           

observed

07:00:08

           

and compared

07:00:20

           

and it happens again and again

07:00:23

           

till you can't sleep anymore

07:00:27

           

so you don't use them pillows

07:00:33

           

that's when their job is done

07:00:39

           

the diabolic plan is elaborate

07:00:47

           

and they're ready to

destrooooooooooy the

woooooooooorld!

07:00:58

           

and they don't even destroy

it like poof boom tish

07:00:58

           

no

07:01:00

           

nononono

07:01:07

           

it happens slowly

07:01:14

           

like the feeling you have

when you're climbing a

mountain

07:01:16

           

the air is there

07:01:19

           

but you can't breathe

07:01:31

           

because the oxygen

doesn't have as much

guts as you

07:01:37

           

it clings on to dear life

on the surface

07:01:39

           

so you suffocate

07:01:42

           

and you don't just die

07:01:42

           

no

07:01:49

           

you kill braincells first

07:01:56

           

but who am i talking to

07:02:02

           

you probably know

that stuff by heart

07:02:09

           

you study it dont' you?

07:02:12

           

oh yes you do

07:02:18

           

but I bet they don't

tell you about pillows

07:02:21

           

no they don't

07:02:25

           

because they're scared

07:02:40

           

they're scared that if they

tell people about the

vicious pillows

07:02:46

           

the pillows will take their

sleep away

07:02:51

           

and give them headaches

07:02:59

           

that have nothing to do

with coffee

07:03:02

           

however

07:03:05

           

it's no use now

07:03:09

           

since you're asleep

07:03:19

           

and in the middle of

the mind sucking process

07:03:22

           

your mind

07:03:23

           

is being

07:03:24

           

sucked

07:03:25

           

out

07:03:26

           

of

07:03:26

           

your

07:03:28

           

ears

07:03:37

           

your brain waves are

being plagirised

07:03:41

           

oh yes

07:03:44

           

them pillows

07:03:51

           

soft and fluffy they say

07:03:54

           

cold on a hot night

07:04:00

           

sink in just the right amount

07:04:02

           

no

07:04:08

           

fit in the curve of your neck

07:04:09

           

no

07:04:16

           

they're gadgets

07:04:21

           

high tech gadgets

07:04:28

           

that are sensitive to touch

07:04:34

           

and adapt to the environment

07:04:37

           

Pillows.

07:04:49

           

They adapt to the shape

of your neck

07:04:55

           

and the inside of your ears

07:05:02

           

to get just the right amount

07:05:06

           

pillows

07:05:08

           

ah

07:05:13

           

vicious pillows

07:05:20

           

and you know what

pillows do too?

07:05:22

           

They talk

07:05:23

           

oh yes

07:05:31

           

in other languages

07:05:39

           

so you wouldn't get them

when they communicate

07:05:44

           

vicious plans

07:05:49

           

vicious pillowy plans

07:05:58

           

vicious fluffy pillowy

plans

07:06:09

           

vicious soft fluffy pillow

plans

07:06:20

           

viciour cold soft fluffly

pillowy plans

07:06:25

           

to eachother

07:06:33

           

and you don't get them

07:06:35

           

you know why?

07:06:39

           

because the pillows

07:06:41

           

ARE

07:06:42

           

VICIOUS

07:06:48

           

GET AWAY

07:06:56

           

SAVE

YOURRRRRRRSEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLF

07:07:08

           

the pillows.

07:07:10

           

them pillows

07:07:14

           

them vicious pillows

07:07:27

           

with a language that's even

beyond that of lil wayne's

07:07:32

           

oh yeah

07:07:36

           

they're that vicious

07:07:46

           

but you're asleep

07:07:47

           

meh

07:07:49

           

good for you

07:07:57

           

hope your mindsucking is

going with a slow rate

07:08:03

           

you don't wanna have em

headaches do you

07:08:06

           

of course you don't

07:08:14

           

no one in their right minds

wishes for the like

07:08:19

           

because they're not humane

07:08:22

           

which makes sense

07:08:28

           

because they're caused by

pillows

07:08:32

           

and pillows are aliens

07:08:35

           

so

07:08:43

           

it's an extraterrestrial

headaches

07:08:54

           

charged with parallel

universes

07:08:58

           

and planets

07:09:05

           

with evil little creatures

07:09:09

           

that look so friendly

07:09:11

           

so cute

07:09:14

           

so fluffy

07:09:17

           

so soft

07:09:25

           

and cold on a hot night,

hot on a cold night

07:09:34

           

just the right amount of

sinking in

07:09:42

           

not to comfort you but to fit

in your crevices

07:09:49

           

get all the information it can get

07:09:54

           

and you know what's ironic?

07:09:58

           

people love them so much

07:10:04

           

they love them so fucking much

07:10:07

           

hug them every night

07:10:09

           

sleep with them

07:10:13

           

and you know what's ironic?

07:10:20

           

you hug your pillow

07:10:23

           

and it's an alien

07:10:29

           

and you probably ahven't hugged

your cat

07:10:31

           

and your cat

07:10:45

           

with all its cat like manipulative

nature

07:10:53

           

possibly loves you way more

then them pillows

07:10:59

           

but you don't sleep on your

cat do you?

07:11:03

           

your cat is not an alien

07:11:09

           

it doesn't suck your brainwaves

07:11:15

           

and send them off to outer space

07:11:17

           

but still

07:11:22

           

your pillow

07:11:25

           

is what you come back to

07:11:28

           

not your cat

07:11:32

           

Pillows

07:11:36

           

vicious pillows

07:11:43

           

vicious manipulative pillows.

07:11:45

           

oh well

07:11:49

           

too late to save you anyway

07:11:56

           

because you're asleep

07:12:01

           

and I can go on forever

you know

07:12:04

           

but I won't

07:12:13

           

(A)

07:12:18

           

You're free

And the reply was:

10:13:34

         

yel3an abo omm el fara3' dah!

That savoury slice of death

After two hours of shuffling in bed, reading a book, making two trips to the fridge eating pickles, crackers and drinking milk, getting into my PJs, playing with my Rubik’s cube, maintaining my average of completing a colour in less than two minutes, writing a hurried diary entry and shuffling through the old ones, watching an episode of “Hope and Faith”, not laughing even though it wasn’t a re-run, rummaging through my bag and trouser pockets for my cell phone to know what day is it only to find that there was no date and time set and the blank screen showed 00:00 because I never bothered to set it, asking dad which day it is, then what month it is, to which he walked out on me heading off to bed, watching the news, checking my inbox and ending up on the couch writing an insomniac blog post about utter nothingness since my msn contacts usually become inert yet unresponsive after 1, especially a couple that have had quite enough of me lately, I end up a ball on the couch.

Could be caused by the fact that I gobbled down two coffees at 8 because I didn’t want the headache to kick in, could be caused by the fact that sleep and I just don’t go well together, could be caused by the fact that I might have forgotten how to fall asleep unforced, nonetheless, for some reason unknown to me and possibly the human race and worlds beyond, I’ve been waking up for two days and sleeping for a half for the last 3 years of my life.

Yes.

Is it a coincidence that I can’t remember any memories before I was 14?

Whatever.

Gobble. I have no idea how I learned/used that word. That happens you know, along with other things, when you’re sleepless and caffeinated.

A piece of advice: Don’t go through old diary entries. In fact, just write your diary on a piece of paper and burn it as you scramble the omelettes and melt the butter for that breakfast that counts as dinner when you don’t know when the day starts.

Apparently, according to the few pages I flipped through, I’ve been quite an asshole to a lot of people, and a lot of people have been quite assholes to me. Isn’t it ironic? Hindsight that is. A fucking charming aspect. If your eyes are placed in front, how come you can’t really “see” anything until you look back? Doesn’t it sound like on hell of a joke? A built-in prank, for that someone who embedded it to have the…what’s the word.

It’s not coming to me.

Ah!

No forgot it.

Fuck.

Oh, that’s another sleepless effect. Philosophy. I have those ingenious moments when I feel like I’ve been possessed by some sort of extraterrestrial Jedi with a panoramic view on us earthlings scurrying around like friggin rats on a spree.

Sleeplessness, isn’t it just entrancing? You’re not really awake, but then again you’re not asleep. You’re tired, but you’re not resting. Caught in reverse that is. It’s when you can rightfully say you’ve experienced temporary insanity.

And you know what’s really funny about it?

can’t sleep.

Can’t as in lost the skill of falling asleep. No, according to me, it’s not intrinsic. It’s not instinctive, doesn’t come naturally to you. It’s an acquired skill, just like driving. You’re not born with a license, and after this I’m sure you now know that you’re not born with an Off button.

I can’t find mine.

Can someone please stick my head in a plastic bag long enough for my carbon dioxide intake to increase and knock me out for a while?

Anyone? I won’t press charges.

…Anyone?

So right, damn.

2010-05-04-Ode-to-Joy

Coffee-less? naaaaaaah

Day 1 - Headache. Headache. Headache. FUCK OW!
People tell you Hangover headaches are tough to handle? Try Withdrawal headaches. The pressure pushing out on your eyeballs and eardrums, the inability to reclaim the use of your neck and a pounding pain in your forehead.  Imagine having a Golf ball in your head, now rock bang. Yeah, that's how much. Not to mention the skull wrenching sudden outbursts that come around every couple of minutes to send you into so much agony you have to close your eyes for a couple of seconds to try and minimize the effect. As if that would suck it out of your skull. That went on for 3 hours.

Day 2 - Resisting the urge to just go and make that mug of fuckin salvation, I decide to remain on the couch, with coke to balance out the caffeine. Why am I doing this to myself? Well, because I realized I'm an addict irl, and because I wanna get back to the time when I made a mug of coffee because I felt like it, not because I was so hooked on it I'd have a fit of agonizing pain spurts in my skull if I don't. It makes you think of abusive relationships doesn't it?
Oh and before I forget, the headache is getting here. Right now I have a cushion setting my head upright because I can't move my neck for a cm without pain shooting up my head.
oh and did I mention the waking up part? no? fine then I CAN'T FRIGGIN WAKE UP!

A couple of hours later - No, fuck it I'm making coffee.
What!
Put a sock in it, go try withdrawal then come back and judge me. *sips*

Friday, 9 July 2010

Wishes, and other existentialist crap…

Wishing. Doesn’t. Work.

It happened.

Un-wishing it doesn’t work either.

It happened.

The beauty of the past tense. It’s irreversible. It doesn’t offer much space as does the present perfect tense, but that’s because the latter is just too fucking “perfect” to be present wouldn’t you say?

Stop. Wishing.

Drive headfirst into a wall if you feel like it. With the crushed bones there will be relief that you wanted to to do it and did it. Once again the beauty of the past tense.

It happened.

Accidente-inglés

Thursday, 8 July 2010

9th not 8th

Dad always tells me: “Keep an open mind and interesting stuff will find their way in”. At 6 am, instead of calling a dude weird, I ended up finding out about an oriental jazz band called “El Dor El Awal”. I’d never listened to anything of the like. Ironically enough, I knew my way around French folk music and Latin oldies better than Egyptian folk music.

Don’t ask.

 

 

Keep an open mind, your brains won’t fall out. It’s a common misconception. Care to try? No?

Wimp.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Who says I can’t get stoned...

Life Lesson #10: If it’s her birthday and she’s dead, you don’t go to her mom. Fuck your feelings.

Life Lesson #11: Coffee steals your dreams.

Life Lesson #12: Life ain’t shit if you don’t take crap, if you can’t take crap, don’t shit and die with a constipation.

Life Lesson #13: When in doubt, shut the fuck up.

Life Lesson #14: Life’s too short to worry about the fact that you say fuck a lot you little fucktard. Fuck it or Fuck off.

     That felt good.

Life Lesson #15: People who talk in their sleep are funner than people who talk awake.

Life Lesson #16: Don’t let the stalker stop you from running at 8 am. Look on the bright side. It’s better exercise to run with incentive. And well, another silver lining, if you get killed then you’re dead. =]

Life Lesson #17:  Stop worrying, you’re not even important enough to match up to a zit on the earth’s surface. Not even a hair cuticle on a zit on the tip of the earth’s nose. Imma quote George Carlin out of context here: “The planet is fine. The people are fucked”.

Life Lesson #18: Live with the comfort of knowing that at any point of your life, if you’ve had it, you can always steer off the road and drive full speed into a brick wall.

Life Lesson #19: "He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."
— Dr. Seuss

P.S. This blog post is pure bullshit save for 4.8% profanity. If you don’t like it, then fuck off. Oops, 5.2% now.

Monday, 5 July 2010

Thursday, 1 July 2010

On a coffee-less day...

Looks like I chose the wrong day to try and get by de-caffeinated. As if it’s not enough that I couldn’t go on some camp that right now all of my friends are one for three days because I was just too late to confirm because of my nocturnal waking hours, I’ve just deleted my recycle bin instead of emptying it. How sublime. Why would there be a delete button on list to begin with? I mean, think about it, where would the recycle bin go when you delete it? Doesn’t it make you think of someone trying to eat their own arm? No? Cookie-monster? No? Phoo. Well, I want to know where it is. If the recycle bin is where deleted stuff goes into, where does a deleted recycle bin go? Does it go to the same place lost socks go to? Naw, I mean, I find almost every lost object, socks included, under my bed. For God’s sake I found my cell phone there, right next to my glasses, four days ago. No, smartass, I won’t go looking for the recycle bin under my bed.

So, back on the coffee-less day. Being de-caffeinated ain’t easy you know; it gets you to bump into chains you didn’t see because you were too groggy, and trip on flat surfaces more often than you used to, which is a shocker since I’m a natural klutz, never thought it could get upgrades. It gets you to make typos like you had tentacles for fingers and live the day thinking tomorrow’s Sunday with the big meeting and calling up people to confirm ending up with an awkward “So…”

Being coffee-less means 5 hours and three failed try-outs on a Photoshop tutorial that contributes nothing to the world but turn your face into a typed print matrix, and I used the word coffee by the way, and still it didn’t work. Yes, Coffee is the first word that pops into my head. Coffee. Coffee. See?

Being coffee-less means losing 3 out of 4 rounds in a pillow fight with your dad, which is unthinkable since my ninja attacks were a pro, being a short person.

36954_10150205234310444_651515443_13412348_7833257_n

You know what? Fuck it. I’m making coffee.



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