Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Carla's Cat Heaven.

Something happened last night that shook me up pretty badly. You know what they say, time changes people and what not. But you always think you'll be the exception of that rule; you cast yourself as the hero of all your fantasies, you help old women cross the street and save four-eyed pizza-faced nerds from the big bad bullies, then you get bite-sized surprises as you go along about who you really are as a person.

Yesterday I watched a street dog get whipped and I did nothing about it because of the consequences. There were a bunch of puppies too. They were beaten up pretty badly by some vagrant, so badly you could still hear the wails and the whips at the back of your head and wince recalling the memory. Growing up turns us into cowards. Of course, it's easier to generalize. I guess what I'm trying to say is that growing up has turned 'me' into a pussy.

It's also easy to rationalize, after all it's not that big, it happens everyday right? Worse things happen everyday. If I had done something about it, the guy could have physically attacked me. But that doesn't change the fact that I didn't do anything about it. I stood there and I let it happen, and I could have stopped it. It's easy to think you have no choice when the consequences aren't in your favour, but you do. That's the truth of it. I had a choice and I chose to let the man beat up the helpless dog because I didn't want to get hurt.

Here's the shitty part - not that the last part wasn't shitty - but I'm not sure I'd react differently if I had the chance. I have zero shots against the guy in physical combat, not to mention the fact that this country fails to maintain the most basic of human rights so that says enough about its animal rights policies and pretty much rules out the safer choice of pursuing legal action.

A younger me wouldn't have had the sense to think it through before bolting at the guy with flailing knuckles. That's where the growing up part comes in. We do this everyday; we let go of things we believe in and we become shittier people as the day progresses because we don't want to get into trouble, be it in the workplace or over a nasty argument with friends. We all go through life wanting nothing to do with life, and we sit back with clear consciences because, after all, 'there was nothing we could have done about it' when the truth is this: You're a shitty person and you've been perfectly rinsed into the socially acceptable moral grey we all like so much.

Let me take it from the top. Yesterday I stood by and watched a helpless animal get tortured when there was a lot I could have done about it because it was more convenient for me. Yesterday I took a glimpse at how much of a shitty person I've become, and it's making me wonder what else is in store.

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