Dear Parents. Scratch That.

I am not surprised I ended up here, this rant was coming sooner or later. And it is targeted at parents:

 

Do you even know what the fuck you’re doing?

 

Well, I don’t think you do, and I’m not surprised. I don’t blame you either, you never really asked for this. You can’t ask for this, you couldn’t possibly know what you’re up against. And this is one of the main reasons I never want to have children; I don’t want that kind of blood on my hands, it’s too much responsibility, more than a human can dare to handle or call his own. The formation of another human, that’s too much, nobody likes playing god, not even god likes playing god half the time.

 

What I believe is this, parents are the real catalyst behind immortalizing the Peter Pan Complex; they want their kids to remain kids, and instead of teaching them what works in real life, they feed them fairytales and utopian concepts to feed their selfish need of one lasting perfection, their own literary, customized dream figurine.

 

What’s more, they blame their kids for not eliminating their own sense of developing logic and figuring it all out in the end, they blame them for the same conclusions they came upon when they grew up – a time that grownups forget when they morph into parents – and they actually make the child feel bad for choosing their own paths in life.

 

Has right and wrong been anything but subjective? Has it worked for anyone in the unfolding course of history? Has it been proven a stable template at any time since Adam and Eve fucked up?

 

The answer to all the above is no, if you thought about it, then congratulations, you’re delusional.

 

Why do that when you can instead save them a lot of work and yourself a lot of impending disappointment that you could make do without and just tell them how life really works from the start? Will it break their heart, or yours? What’s the honest answer here?

 

It’s beyond me why parents think they’re doing a great job by telling their kids how to live when kids have found the loophole since they knew life for what it is and have been doing the parenting themselves, they’ve been parenting themselves and their parents, a job that is not only unfair and unreasonable, but downright hilarious to ask of creatures that emerge into this world clueless and go out confused.

 

If a person is the outcome of his experiences, then your job is annulled. If a person is the outcome of his choices, then your job is again annulled. What is your job? Your job is to help them, not steer them by the hand away from danger so they wouldn’t know what they’re up against when you’re gone, not to limit their choices by your own prejudices and shortcomings so they have to deal with both sets instead of one when they grow up and count in their own, not to teach them that measuring themselves against another person’s code is what it means to truly love, and definitely not to give them the biggest fight of their lives when you take away their choice by putting it up against losing you.

 

Parenting is really not that hard, you can write books about it and you can collaborate on endless studies to delve into the labyrinthine psychological ways of coinciding age groups in the forced yet instinctively doting responsibility of the guardians’ relationship with their offspring and you’d have books full of bullshit. You want real parenting advice? Ask kids. Kids grow up trying to avoid their parents’ parenting mistakes, that they all know so well, even better than the back of their hands, and end up blind to everything else, everything else that could possibly matter on the larger scale of things, only to come up with a family line that has an identical set of mistakes every other generation. It’s pathetically hilarious.

 

What’s even more hilarious is that you’d think by now someone would have noticed the pattern and actively put in an effort to break it, but it is not surprising that they haven’t since the human race has the peculiar ability to not see something that right in front of them, and usually don’t know a sign if it hit them in the face with a baseball bat.

 

Parenting has become a form of conditioning, deformed into a set that has travelled through bloodlines unscathed by their individual fortune cookies of experiences and uncorrected by life’s travelling hints. Just like every other form of teaching nowadays, it has become void of learning and full of crap. You’re an all-knowing god who does not make mistakes because you had the dismissive luxury of popping out a kid one unfortunate sweaty night; you’re above learning.

 

 

Well, you’re not and it pisses me off.

 

Dear parents, open up your eyes and see things for what they are. You can’t save people from themselves, nobody can. Protect them from junk food and they’ll grow up obese, make them blind to the world and they’ll poke an eye out on a road sign. You don’t protect people by taking them out of harm’s way, you protect them by sharing your knowledge and giving a hand enough to prepare them for when they have to protect themselves. You’ve been doing it all wrong, and you’ve just been owned by a 20-year-old.

 

Also, you’re a dumbass if you think they’re not doing what they want anyway, it’s your fault that you’ve been excluded out of their life and it’s your fault for widening the generational gap by making them too scared to come to you when they fuck up and out begging for pieces of advice from people who are more likely to harm them than what they fucked up in the first place. Great job.

 

No really, let’s hear a roaring sound of applause, maybe that’ll break the sound barrier.