As usual, I’m on here till my coffee cools down then I’m back in the work ditch. Not much has been happening due to the widely acknowledged fact that during exams, you lose the concept of time and luxury of having a life. However, a small update, whoever said that once you’re in the exam cycle you won’t know what hit you till you’re out, you’re delusional. It’s psychological warfare. But hey, it totally makes sense that the centuries-old tradition of judging your humane abilities by your robotic capabilities since you were so kind as to evolve and lose your giant mass of ape hair works. Sure, it’s also perfectly logical that you have to remain fully functional knowing that your whole life and career aptitude depends on a percentage that is graded by severely under qualified pseudo-teachers at best and the former armed with no degree in the actual subject, a typo’d model answer and are aggressively biased against people who actually got an education at worst, meaning they grade you worse if you actually know your shit to bring about some sort of communist-induced jungle justice to their own government-bred kids. Praise the system, all ye faithful.
A saying goes around that pressure is the only disparity between Carbon and diamonds, but then again, I’ve never really liked bling. Due to lack of sleep and a sorely mistimed panic attack, I managed to lose 1.5 times more marks in Physics alone than I’ve lost last year in all subjects, driving me between a rock on a hard place with only a couple of more marks to go around before I’m actually out of the realms of my designated major. I hadn’t had one of those ‘crying while saying I want my daddy’ fits since I was 6, brought about a lot of memories. What pisses me off is that once I actually got sleep, I found them out on my own, which brought about a minor adjustment to the national certificate studying strategy; being fuck work if you can get sleep instead because apparently, that ‘if you can’t walk the walk don’t talk the talk’ rule applies out of Brooklyn. Of course, there’s that little setback that is none other than the fact that I have to go on and manage not to lose it before the 4th of July, because yes, you’ll have to schedule your reactions to be part of the system, another one of em robotic parts. Meh, I’m whining, enough of that.
Pressure does a whole lot of weird things to you, like getting an afro pixie cut in my case for instance. My hair looks like it put up a good machete fight with a very pissed Hulk Hogan, leaving me with the look of a recovering Cancer patient. I’ve come to terms with it because it’ll go on my list of proofs for ‘Not everything that feels good is necessarily right’ rule. Truth be told tho, it feels so awesome that I got half a mind to go on a bald pride parade. There’s still the little con of how I went from Sphinx to Tranny on a boring day. Oh well.
'And then they lived happily ever after..having applied as human guinea pigs for unauthorized lab experiments on a new mood drug.'
There are of course other things pressure does to you that hardly need be acknowledged in any textbooks, like sending an ‘I miss you’ text to the worst possible person at 4 am, theatrically passing out in Maths class for forgetting to eat, pulling a controversial elaborate prank that has a church congregation list you on their ‘To be assassinated while making it look like an accident’ list, and, well, saluting a mosquito for putting up one hell of a fight with your shower head. The usual.
The really great thing about this whole examination trauma I’m going through is that the last exam, the day I’m finally out of this ditch and back into the real world, the day I leave high school and go to college, is conveniently the 4th of July. Independence day has taken a whole new meaning in my book.
To wrap it up, a shoutout to humans, an air supply can't always be an oxygen mask, crying over spilled booze is hangover without the missing 24 hours, and every time you feel like beating yourself up over a bad decision, remember that at one point, the whole world firmly believed that fluorescent flare pants were a pretty cool idea. With that I leave you, take good care of yourselves, you’re all you have.
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