Life Lesson #270: The ID number is the long one, and you read Arabic numbers from left to right, not the other way around, even tho the latter makes more sense.
Life Lesson #271: You don’t ask customer service which number is the ID number or the direction of reading Arabic numbers.
Life Lesson #272: It’s okay to be the laughing stock of Vodafone customer service. On the bright side, I might have made a very bored dude’s day and propped him up the ‘employee of the month’ chart for going through the drill of simplifying sentences and talking in digits.
Life Lesson #273: On giving the customer service your residential information, you don’t give them the apartment number. Apparently that’s a no-no. I now realize why he was giggling.
Life Lesson #274: Don’t apologize to the customer service representative for being impossible. They get paid for that shit. Muffling your own giggle doesn’t help either, save the self deprecation till after the call or they’ll think you’re coming onto their hairy ape selves. You really, really, REALLY don’t want that. Oh the horror.
Life Lesson #275: When asked why you didn’t call the English customer service, you don’t tell them out-front it’s because they don’t fucking get accents. Not all of them have the sense of humor of the dude I was talking to.
Life Lesson #276: When addressed with Madam, you don’t reply with a screechy ‘I’m 18 for god’s sake!’ They tend to hyperventilate and compulsively reiterate Miss for the next 15 minutes while apologizing their ass off for fear you might report them for sexual advances.
Life Lesson #277: When they explain that the ID number is on the left side of the card, you don’t reply with ‘left being the side the faces the floor, right?’
Life Lesson #278: When asked for two numbers that transfer credit to your line, you don’t elaborate that the only number that transfers credit to yours is your mom’s.
Life Lesson #279: Their coming to the practical conclusion mid-call that you’re too stupid to fill in your complete personal information by forgetting your own payment plan let alone steal a line and consequently stop the process of confirmation is sometimes a good thing, theoretically speaking.
Life Lesson #280: Try not to think about the fact that the call is recorded for ensuring the quality of the call service. It tends to make you feel even more mortified and you might be red in the face for the another 45 minutes, which, by the way, is not the standard call duration average.
Life Lesson #281: Pointing a pen towards the cellphone and screaming ‘Obleviate!’ does not help with that either.
Oh man..Can somebody please shoot me now?
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